While their son’s toys line the living room and dining rooms of Michael and Kate Jordal’s northwest Austin home, their dining room table holds reminders of something never far their hearts: their daughter.

A box holds mementos for the brief life of Kimberly Hope Jordal: a cast the exact size of her feet, a Molly Bear of her exact weight, pictures of her feet and more.

But as Michael and Kate approach the fifth angelversary — a common phrase referring to the birth and death of an infant — they continue to keep their daughter’s memory alive while cherishing the gifts they have today: each other and their 3-year-old son, Griffin.

As a YouTube channel plays a stream of simple piano songs for Griffin, who loves music, Kate talks about seeing Griffin’s resemblance to his sister, Kimberly, when he was born.

“It’s kind of nice too to see the resemblance with Griffin, because it’s like, basically he’s here because of her,” Kate said. “She really gave him a special gift.”

Kimberly passed away after living 24 minutes on Nov. 30, 2011, but Michael and Kate have taken steps to ensure their daughter’s memory lives on.

High school sweethearts

Kate and Michael’s story started a bit like a fairytale with their first date at the Forest City, Iowa, homecoming dance. The two were in a Spanish class together when one of Kate’s friends told Michael he should ask Kate to the dance. He did and Michael says it was, “happily every after.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Kate adds with a laugh as the two reflect on the journey that brought them from high school sweethearts to the heartbroken parents of a lost child and to proud parents today.

Kate and Michael dated through college despite being three hours apart with Michael at Briar Cliff studying art and new media and Kate in Iowa State’s journalism program.

Michael started working at what’s now Old 218 in Austin in 2004 after graduating, and he works there to this day. Kate moved to Austin a year later when the couple married on July 16, 2005. Kate now teaches special education at Ellis Middle School.

A few years later, the two were ready to start a family, but their journey would prove to be anything but easy. They struggled with infertility issues for two years before Kate began taking a pill, which solved the issues. They soon conceived.

Like any couple, the two were ecstatic to be expecting their first child. The couple announced their pregnancy to friends at Michael’s 30th birthday party, and he made pumpkin cupcakes and brought them to work with a card he made saying their “little pumpkin” was coming.

“The cute, fun stuff that you do when you’re pregnant,” Michael said.

But it all changed when the couple visited their doctor for their 20-week ultrasound. Everything appeared good at first: Routine tests revealed they’d be having a girl and that their daughter looked to be in good health. But after further examining Kate, their doctor spotted concerning signs that caused him to send the couple to Methodist Hospital in Rochester.

They learned Kate has an incompetent cervix, a condition that can only be diagnosed during pregnancy where a woman’s body can’t handle the pressure that comes with the baby’s growth in the second trimester.

The doctors did all they could, but Kate was already in the early stages of labor. She was 20 weeks into her pregnancy, about a month shy of 23-24 weeks traditionally seen as the bare minimum for Mayo Clinic doctors to treat premature babies.

“There were no options at that gestation,” Kate said.

Knowing their daughter wouldn’t live, the couple gave birth to their daughter on Nov. 30, 2011. She was born weighing 10 ounces and measuring 9 inches. Kate and Michael held their daughter during the 24 minutes of her life and felt the immense love that comes with having a child.

“Before we had her, we didn’t really know what that feels like when you have a baby and just that overwhelming and immediate love that you feel,” Kate said. “Unfortunately, the first time we experienced that was having her. It’s really just overwhelming to think that you can’t have them with you.”

The Jordals left the hospital and a few days later had a funeral for their daughter, who is buried in the Garden of the Innocent at Oakwood Cemetery.

Michael admits the time at Mayo with Kimberly was awful, calling it the most terrible point in his life, and Kate agrees.

“You see all these people leaving with their babies, and we’re leaving with pamphlets that say, Empty Arms,’ and we’re planning our daughter’s funeral,” she said. “It’s not something that I would wish anyone. It still is hard to think about and talk about.”

Hope after loss

Almost immediately after their daughter passed, the Jordals knew they wanted to do something to honor her short life.

“She’s our daughter; her life was extremely meaningful to us,” Kate said. “When I was holding her, I just kept thinking, I wish there was more that I could do as her mother.”

On the way home from the hospital, Kate and Michael discussed a scholarship and helping others going through a similar experience.

The Jordals named their daughter Kimberly Hope Jordal after Kimberly Rabe Brehmer, a Mayo nurse who helped them through their ordeal.

“She was way above and beyond what you would expect someone to do,” Kate said.

The nurse’s actions during Kimberly Jordal’s birth and death would be an early spark for Causes for Kimberly and the Kimberly Hope Jordal Memorial Scholarship.

About a year after her birth, the Jordals started Causes for Kimberly. While there’s no physical event, they ask friends and family to donate to a cause in Kimberly’s honor during the month of November, which has been a difficult time each year since.

The Kimberly Hope Jordal Scholarship is given each year to a nursing student based on essays looking for someone with Kimberly Rabe Brehmer’s passion at the Jordals’ alma mater, Forest City High School. The scholarship started giving out $500 in its first years before increasing to $600 this past year.

Other events to donate to include: the March of Dimes, Molly Bears, the Jack Vasel Memorial Fund, The Arc Mower County and The Hormel Historic Home’s autism programming.

The Jordals raised $2,000 in 2015 and have raised more than $5,000 in the first four years.

Life after loss

But the Jordal’s story doesn’t end there.

By the first year of Causes for Kimberly, the Jordals were pregnant again, but this time they were equipped with the knowledge of Kate’s incompetent cervix condition.

Still, their journey wasn’t easy. This time around, the couple didn’t post the cute message on Facebook or share the joy of pregnancy with friends because of the pregnancy’s risks.

“We had very little confidence that it would work out,” Michael admitted. “We were hoping, obviously, that we could have him, but we were totally prepared for another failure. It’s really sad. You want it to just be joyous.”

The Jordals admitted each day of pregnancy was scary, and doctors placed Kate on bed rest for 13 weeks, first at the hospital and then at their home, requiring Michael to do a lot for her each day.

But on Jan. 16, 2013, the Jordals gave birth to a healthy son, Griffin.

“We’re absolutely thrilled every day to have him,” Kate said as Griffin sits on Kate’s lap playing on a tablet and watching videos.

At one point, Griffin asks his dad to hold him up so he can do a Pinocchio pose, which he learned from a character on his tablet. Then he shows his parents a series of goofy photos and videos he’s taken of himself and a few of his parents, which he shows them when asked about them.

The couple’s long endeavor was a challenge that Kate and Michael admitted it was tough on their marriage, and they reflected on how such an experience can bring couple closer together or farther apart.

“We are stronger for it,” Michael said.

“We stuck together,” Kate adds. “It can pull people apart easily.”

A life remembered

But Kate is right: It really isn’t a happily ever after.

Kimberly is never far from Kate and Michael’s minds, and they’ve already told Griffin about his older sister and taken him to visit her grave, though they admit it’s still a hard concept for him to grasp.

Michael admits it can be difficult watching Griffin reach each milestone in his early years, as it often brings Kimberly to mind.

“It kind of makes you think about the milestones that Kimberly missed,” he said. “There’s always struggles with that too.”

Michael spoke of getting a letter inviting the family to a kindergarten open house for Kimberly and another urging them to get her screened for kindergarten.

“Well, we’d love to screen her,” Michael said.

Kate admits she’s struggled wishing she could have done more for her daughter, and she’s struggled with the guilt of feeling responsible for what happened. But she’s gone to therapy and accepted there’s nothing she and Michael would have done differently.

“There’s so many conditions, and mine is one of them, that you just don’t know about until it’s kind of too late,” she said.

Michael urged people to realize they’re not alone and it’s not their fault

“It is nothing that you have control over,” Michael said.

Along with Causes for Kimberly, the Jordals have also vowed to be open about their experience with the hopes of helping other couples.

Kate says it’s been therapeutic to talk and share their story, and she and Michael say it’s important for people in similar situations to realize they’re not alone.

“I think it’s important to not suffer in silence,” Kate said.

Whenever the couple hears a friend or family member is pregnant, they admit they congratulate them but worry.

“For me, pregnancy isn’t as joyous, unfortunately, any more,” Michael said.

Kate agrees.

“It just won’t ever be that for us,” Kate adds. “For us or even when our friends and family are. We’re always scared for them.”

The couple hasn’t ruled out having another child, but they know it would likely be a challenging experience filled with stress, risk and the potential for many medical bills and much time away from work.

One thing is for certain: “We’ll never be putting the cute announcement on Facebook,” Kate said.

But the Jordals will continue cherishing their time together while striving to honor their daughter’s memory.

“It’s not a thing that you really get over,” Kate admits. “There’s just so many times that are hard, but at the same time, I guess that’s why we try to must make something positive out of it.”

To support Causes for Kimberly, visit www.facebook.com/events/1770045933250137/ or contact kmjordal@gmail.com.