Pay close attention.

This is important.

I'm getting goose-bumps just thinking about it.

People say the city of Austin and Mower County don't get along and officials can't agree on anything.

Sure, they meet each month, but that's just to enjoy the 5-star Austin Housing and Redevelopment Authority's posh accommodations, plus free coffee and cookies.

Citizens don't see the day-to-day acts of cooperation between the units of government. What they see are elected officials who don't see eye-to-eye on matters of mutual interest.

To paraphrase that well-known civic leader Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along?"

The public needs to help elected officials get in touch with their wounded inner child and be a better person.

Officials need an attitude adjustment that can't wait for election day.

The politicians can put aside their dignity and send a message without city administrators or county coordinators getting in the way.

In other words, Celebrity Boxing.

Here's how it would work: The boxers would be required to wear head gear. God forbid they suffer more damage. Gloves would be 16-ouncers so they couldn't hurt each other.

On their backs, advertising would be allowed: I can imagine signs for Hillier Yardwaste and Composting, Miller Business Consulting or Bobee Jo's.

Celebrity Boxing

… the possibilities for resolving differences in local government are endless. Let's get ready to rumblllllllllllllllle.

Here's how I would handicap some of the bouts:

Austin Mayor Bonnie "Boom Boom" Rietz versus Mower County Board Chair Len "Mad Dog" Miller. The county board chair comes into the bout way out of shape and the mayor out-points him with her fancy footwork.

Austin First Ward Council Member Wayne "I'm Not Always" Goodnature versus "Dynamite" Dick Cummings. The council member is tough inside, but Cummings' long reach keeps him at bay. Cummings outlasts Goodnature to win a split decision.

Jeanne E. "The Meanie" Poppe versus "Sugar Ray" Tucker. The 2nd Ward Council Member fights to a draw with the 2nd District Mower County Commissioner.

"Dangerous" Dave Hillier versus Dick "Mr. East Side" Lang. Despite a ferocious start, the county commissioner falls prey to the street-smart council member, who immediately disqualifies himself when he discovers he's fighting for the wrong seat on the county board.

"Smooth" Dick Chaffee versus Garry "The Gimp" Ellingson. Despite a leg injury that slows him down, Ellingson KO's Chaffee, who is caught looking over his shoulder at what Lang and Donna Olson are talking about at ringside.

Because there are only five county board members and seven Austin City Council members, plus a mayor, that leaves Mickey Jorgenson, Pete Christopherson and Gloria Nordin on the sidelines. They could be corner men for the city council opponents.

Also, pretenders like Arnold Lang and Spud Bothun need more experience before they're ready for the big-time.

They should stick to writing letters to the editor.

And the judges …

who else, but the residents of Dinsmoor Acres and Bellman's Addition, who are still waiting for important improvement projects to be completed.

So, what is to be accomplished?

With all the elected officials kept busy for awhile, city and council staffs actually get some work done without interference.