Austin boy#039;s memory lives on through others

Published 12:00 am Saturday, August 24, 2002

Karl Potach was a little boy with an exceptionally great faith.

Diagnosed with cancer at two, he had been in and out of the hospital for treatments and CAT scans and developed a third tumor shortly before his fourth birthday. By that time, there was nothing more that could be done for him medically. Karl passed away 1997, a few days before his birthday. Left behind were his grief stricken parents, Kurt and Brenda, his older sisters Kira and baby sister Karyn.

Losing a child is by far the worst tragedy that can befall parents, no matter what the cause or circumstance. How can one go on living with such a void left in ones heart?

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"The first thing that goes through my mind is, I can't imagine doing it without Jesus," Brenda replied. "I don't know what people do when they don't know Him. There is an end -- and for them there would be a loss, and an end. With Christ it's a loss, but there is eternity, you know, so we can look ahead."

Her eyes were glowing with hope, and she smiled as she continued. "And Jesus is waiting for us, and we know that there's still a connection. We didn't lose Karl completely to never see him again."

"About losing a child," Kurt inserted softly, "there is no more difficult thing to have happen or to live through. But with the eternal perspective in this, as time goes on, it gets easier to talk about our son. The loss was enormous, and we suffered a lot of pain regardless of faith."

He went on to say that the suffering is a separate issue. The part that both parents have the eternal prospective allows them to put their hopes on heaven, and they look forward to that with joy. The tears of sorrow still come, but as time goes by, more tears of joy at the memory of Karl replace the sad ones, as each new day brings them closer to a reunion.

When parents have to spend extra time with a sick child, the siblings may suffer from the separation, no matter how hard the parents try to make it up to them. The reactions vary with the age and personality of each child. Loving adults take those things into consideration and work at helping each one feel secure.

"When Karl had to spend five to six days at a time in the hospital during treatments, I was the one to go with him, since Kurt was working," Brenda said. "Kira had a hard time when I left. She was starting kindergarten, she was crying when I had to leave. It was difficult for me to peel her off."

The separation didn't affect the then 18-month-old Karyn too much. As Brenda explained it, "God gave her a content little spirit. She just knew she had to roll with the punches and she did. Kurt agreed that Karyn couldn't have been a better baby -- God just gave her the ability to go with the flow.

"It was probably harder for me to leave her than it was for her to leave me," Brenda said with an amused laughter.

Both parents admit that they would have had difficulty coping during Karl's two years of illness and treatments. The Bethlehem Church congregation -- their church family -- was enormously supportive through it all. As the word spread, other people would also come to their assistance, offering to baby-sit bring food do other acts of kindness. When time was running out for Karl, a prayer sign-up sheet was posted at the church. Consequently, the last few weeks, there were people taking turns to park in the driveway beside the house for the sole reason to be nearby and pray for Karl and his family. His surgeon who had become a friend of the family, also called to see what he could do to make the boy more comfortable.

According to both parents, Karl's faith and confidence in Jesus lifted their spirits. Brenda recalled a time at the hospital when she and Kurt were leaving the room. Brenda stepped back into the room to find Karl gazing at the table and talking. She teased him about talking to the table. "No, I'm talking to Jesus!" he said. Young Karl's reply amazed his mother. She asked what he had said to Jesus. "I just thanked him for taking such good care of me," he answered.

Karl was a comfort to his parents to the end. He would wipe their tears and tell them not to worry. "I'm not afraid," he told them. "I know Jesus is here with me." When he was awake at night, he could hear the cars coming and going in the driveway and see the headlights, and he knew people were out there, praying for him. He thought that was neat.

Despite the loss of their brave and wonderful little boy, the Potach family is truly blessed. Through it all, Brenda and Kurt have learned a great deal more about trusting the Lord and relying on the help He provides by giving them a loving and praying Christian church family. They have been tested to capacity and have not faltered.