My oldest son told me two weeks ago that I am going to be a grandmother for the first time. I am thrilled for him and I know he will be a great dad. My first thought when he told me that he and his significant other were having a baby was, "Better you, than me." I let him tell his siblings and his dad, as it is his news. I had always been reluctant to announce when I was having a baby. My daughter Bridget asked me why I never liked to tell people I was pregnant. I said it was because telling people proved that I had actually had sex.

My parents never explained sex to any of their children. I was ignorant about it until I was 11 years old. One night when we children sat at the dining room table doing our homework, my 13-year-old brother, Steve explained in detail to my 14-year-old sister Kate and me how babies were made. We thought it was so disgusting and terrible. We knew it was a lie and that our parents had never done such a thing. A week later he told us the real way babies were created and we thought this was more disgusting than what he had described the first time. Kate and I were totally confused and didn't know where to find the truth, but we decided to quit relying on Steve for answers.

It has been written and talked about for years that parents should be the main teachers to instruct children about sex education. I took this to heart and thought I was open and honest about the birds and the bees to my own six children. We live on a farm and every fall we would get a bull to breed the cows and we put a buck with the sheep in early winter. In the spring when calves and lambs were born and ducklings, chicks and goslings would hatch out, I thought the children understood that mating and breeding of animals created babies.

One spring day the neighbor's miniature stud horse broke loose and ran to our house for a visit as one of our mares was in heat. I said to my husband, "We really should get her bred." Our daughter Theresa ran to the house and brought back two loaves of bread and asked in all seriousness, "Will this help?" I realized that I had more explaining to do.

My oldest daughter, Mary, mentioned to me several years ago that I was terrible at explaining sex to her. Molly, who was in junior high school at the time countered, "Mary is right! You never were real clear about sex. We want to make sure that Timmy understands everything clearly."

Timmy is the youngest and now is 9. The girls explained everything so much to him that he would run away from them saying, "I get it! Now leave me alone and don't tell me anymore!"

Timmy reads everything he can get his hands on and I explain words that he comes across and doesn't understand. I always keep a book in the car for myself to read for when I have to wait. Last summer I bought a romance novel for 27 cents at the Salvation Army to read in the car. After Timmy's swimming lessons one day I was driving along and glanced over. Timmy was wide-eyed and reading the romance novel.

"Timmy," I said," you shouldn't be reading that book."

"I know." Timmy said. "It's full of sex and I don't know what this word means; I will spell it because I can't pronounce it, o-r-g-a-s-m."

I didn't know what to say so I said the first thing that came to my mind, "I don't know, I never had one. Now please put that book down."

Timmy put the book down and seemed satisfied with that answer. I figured I had saved him and myself with that answer. I have to be more careful with what reading materials I keep in the car.

Sheila Donnelly can be reached at 434-2233 or by e-mail at :mailto:newsroom@austindailyherald.com