They have Prince Albert in the can and the banker's wife looks good on the throne.

Who are these people anyway? You gotta visit Adams on a Saturday night in February to find out. I did.

Actually, I didn't really see Prince Albert Smith in the can, but that's where he was headed Saturday night.

I could tell by the determined look on his face and I didn't want to get in the way.

As for the banker's wife, riding a toilet pushed by two crazed men, I probably shouldn't mention any names.

You never know when I might need a loan from Farmers State Bank of Elkton or its branch in Dexter.

I wonder if the Diocese of Winona knows what the good Catholics at Sacred Heart in Adams do each February?

They say it's a fund-raiser for Catholic education, but I don't know. They sure do seem to have an awful lot of fun and more than any I've seen at a Lutheran church.

And, darned if the Catholic priest himself, the Rev. Greg Leif, wasn't right there in the midst of all the tomfoolery.

Speaking of tomfoolery, I can report Saint Tommie is back in action. He was looking trim and fit -- remember now, I'm semi-blind -- at the Saturday night fun and games at Sacred Heart.

I was hoping the big guy would have given me a ride home. We could have taken the r-wheel drive out west of town and swung the baseball bat at Doug Hanson's mailbox if we could have found it.

Unfortunately, his handlers -- Chester, Bosley and the boys -- wouldn't let him do that.

Jim Sathre and his much younger wife, Connie

-- remember now: I'm semi-blind -- were my personal hosts at the Sacred Heart sheebang.

Had a great meal and got to sit next to the prairie poet, Harlan Boe. Mr. Boe is 82, which is sort like being a mature Harry Kramer.

I want to take this opportunity to congratulate Fred Harvey on having the good taste, courage and foresight -- remember now: I'm semi-blind -- to purchase an original Harlan Boe poem about a certain newspaper reporter for a cool $275. Mr. Harvey obviously knows his poetry.

But for me, the Toilet Bowl Derby at the end of the evening was the wildest.

They take their crapper capers seriously at Adams. One of them attractive farmer's wives -- remember now: I'm semi-blind -- told me to bet on the Johnsburg team, but I was leaning toward Fred Harvey's team or the Boe team. Who would have thunk a sophisticated banker's wife knew how to drive a crappermobile?

You gotta come back next year for the 2004 charity to see what has those NASCAR people so nervous.

Somewhere, Dave Whalen is designing next year's contraptions for another race and Cliff Kiefer is putting his wife Liz's second car in storage, so no one will steal his dream machine.

The fella you gotta feel sorry for is Father Leif. When he agreed to offer a half-day's labor for the right bid and Billy and Linda Boe outbid everyone, the Catholic priest probably thought he would spend the day tagging along with Billy and drinking coffee and throwing the dice.

Nosiree. I understand Mark Schaefer was one of Billy and Linda's silent partners and STP Farms, Inc. has a hog house with the priest's name on it.

Bring your muck boots, Father Greg!

Lee Bonorden can be contacted at 434-2232 or by e-mail at :mailto:lee.bonorden@austindailyherald.com