In sorting through books the other day I came upon The Art of Growing Old , which I had always meant to read but never had until now. It might help me with old people, and perhaps I can remember what I read until I become old. Initially, I was disappointed that what was being suggested had nothing to do with old people exclusively. Then it hit me. The art of growing old is the art of growing up.

The book was published by the Radio Bible Class of Grand Rapids, Michigan and written by Pastor Herbert Vander Lugt in 1980. I had always meant to read the it because Pastor Vander Lugt strongly impressed and influenced me when I was in seminary and observed his pastorate, but twenty-three years later I still hadn't read it until now.

In the final two of six chapters, the pastor does become specific and narrows his focus on old age in particular. Beginning at middle-age, married couples must willingly and openly acknowledge the time soon comes when death of one will separate the two, and they must make plans now. We need to learn from handling effectively minor stresses how to handle the ultimate stresses of late life. Upon the death of one, the survivor must avoid quick decisions about disposal of property and change of living situations. Old people must make an effort to be agreeable and sociable and think positively. We must plan for adjustments that come even with retirement, when both spouses are at home all day, and consciously create new routines. Along with some limitations, especially physical, there come with freedom from employment new opportunities that should be capitalized upon. All these are worthwhile suggestions, but I return to the earlier thought.

My own observations suggest the principal reason people who don't know how to live in old age is that they never learned to live in the first place. They confused existence with life. A rock has existence but no life. A weed and a skunk have their own kind of life, but some people have not much more life than these. They mope through a meaningless existence with no purpose. They are here, but that's about all. Soon they will be no more and that was all there was. When I once greeted a television stage hand with "How are you?", he replied, "Oh, just walking around to save funeral expenses."

Human life is growth. Not just growing old, but growing up--maturing. Human life is discovering the meaning and purpose of our lives and then ensuring the meaning prospers and accomplishes our purpose. Learning what these are is not so much a personal decision as it is an individual discovery from something larger than ourselves. Such things as education, religion, reading, listening can help. But they can also confuse and mislead.

We must think. We must think about our selves and think for ourselves. Coming to an adequate understanding of such things may take a long time, even a lifetime. But if we are learning, we are growing. If we are actually growing, we are genuinely living.

If you want to learn the art of growing old, learn the art of growing.

Dr. Wallace Alcorn’s commentaries appear in the Herald on Mondays.