The other Saturday I came home to find my grandchildren — the three youngest — washing my garage.

They had sponges and paper towels and my dishwashing soap.

The garden hose was running and there were lots of suds.

Three neighborhood children were helping them.

It was quite a sight to see. They were scrubbing the east side of a garage covered with white-painted wood shake siding.

That alone made it a tough job. Tufts of the sponges were on the ground, and they had used up a lot of paper towels.

To tell the truth, they had made a real mess that I would have to clean up when their attention span for washing a garage ran out, and they would go on to something else.

They were so earnest in their work I resisted the temptation to yell at them to stop and instead asked a grandson, “What are you doing?”

Deontay paused in his work — a boy, he operated the hose, of course — squinted into the sun and said, “Washing your garage, Papa.”

“I can see that, but why are you washing my garage?” I had to ask.

“Because it was dirty,” he replied.

I gave up, let them continue and retreated into the house.

Kids still say the darnedst things, don’t they?

The advent of another school year means many, many opportunities for teachers to hear still more darnedst things from children.

How about this exchange:

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a 6 year old is. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the “Three Little Pigs” to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first little pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read: “…and so the little pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: “Pardon me, sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?”

The teacher paused then and asked the class: “And what do you think the man said?”

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly, “I think the man would have said ‘Well, I’ll be damned, a talking pig!’ ”

Sometimes, children’s comments are just too much for teachers to handle:

Children’s Thoughts on the Sea:

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2. If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don’t have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7)

3. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend no more. (Kylie, age 6)

4. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean.

Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.

My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

5. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

Of course, teachers get their revenge when report cards are due.

These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a “full six-pack” but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.

Have a nice school year, students and teachers.