The other day I was riding my bike, and I came up to an intersection and stopped.

Before long, a pickup truck pulled up along side me.

The driver rolled down the window and proceeded to blister me with four, seven and 12-letter words.

I didn’t have an adequate response, so I just wished him “Have a nice day, (popular seven-letter word) and pedaled off.”

When the hairs on the back of my neck settled into their usual supine place and my heart beat slowed down, I reflected on my encounter with an angry reader and decided he did the right thing.

Nobody should fear the press unless they’ve got something to hide, and when they believe they were aggrieved they should raise a little hell about it.

The press ain’t perfect. Far from it, in fact.

A reader took exception to my advice on male-female relationships in last week’s column.

He told me there are only five rules men have to follow to led a happy life.

They are (1) It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, who cleans up and has a job. (2) It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh. (3) It’s important to have a woman you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you. (4) It’s important to have a woman who likes to be with you. And (5) it’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

This has nothing to do with today’s theme of criticism, but it’s funny and it helps fill space:

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in:

Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Several people keep asking me why the Herald doesn’t print any editorials anymore. “Don’t you have any opinions on anything?” one asked me.

I don’t write editorials anymore for the Herald.

Today, they are written by a select group of editors and the publisher, who go over them with a fine-tooth comb of scrutiny.

Then, a team of crackerjack lawyers reviews them and finally the custodian takes a look at them.

If all those people agree, they get printed.

I understand there’s a debate going on over motherhood.

Go figure.

Another critic — from Adams Township, of course — said, “You couldn’t deliver the Herald if it was addressed to yourself. When are you going to get it right?”

This hurt. Honestly.

I complained to the circulation department, who said they would get right on it.

I know what you’re thinking: “Now, where have I heard that before?”

Remember, Adams Township: Patience is a virtue and I think all of them Adams folks could use a little more virtue.

Some time ago, a public official gave me a T-shirt that read “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you.”

Cute, huh? All I know is we buy ink by the barrel for a reason and it ain’t to protect public officials.

Take that, bureaucrats.