The young woman walked around from her driver’s seat to help someone out of the passenger side. Had she gone to the back door, I would have expected her to release a child securely fastened in a car seat. Then I would watch out for the little one, because I know carefree children can move unpredictably. We have the opportunity so to help parents with young children.

But this was a front seat, and Grandma emerged. The young woman tended her alertly as she moved slowly, supported by her cane, toward the restaurant door. I waited and held the door for them. An act of courtesy though it consciously was, I was also pleasing myself by watching more closely a wonderful scene.

“You’re taking good care of Grandma, aren’t you?”

The replies came alternately: “You bet.” / “I have such wonderful grandchildren.” / “Well, she took care of us for years.”

I remarked, “Pay-back time.” From a polite distance, I then watched the two enjoying their meal together. They enjoyed each other.

The time comes for grandchildren to pay back what their grandparents have done for and been to them as they were growing up. A matter of opportunity rather than obligation, it will crown the old folks’ lives and allow the younger to feel adult.

It often takes grandparents a while to recognize and acknowledge grandchildren have grown up and are to be respected as young adults. They come to recognize it when they see grandchildren exercising adult responsibility. Now giving, rather than only receiving.

Grandchildren’s task is to recognize how soon grandparents age, and they are often totally unprepared for their passing from this life. Too many fail to turn aside from busy schedules and frenetic activities to notice grandparents until they are confined to a wheel chair or bed in a nursing home. Then all they can do is sit boringly and try to make small talk.

I encourage young people to pay attention to their grandparents, while the older folks are still mobile and alert. They still love you and are prouder of you than ever. Being seen in public as their companions is a strong affirmation of their worth and your appreciation. Grandparents are to be grateful for and proud of.

Remember how you could always count on them to listen to your excited reports of childish accomplishments? No praise is quite as uncritical or lavish as a grandparent’s. They came to recitals, school plays, and sporting events. Truth be told, they may not always have enjoyed the events, but they were proud of you and wouldn’t let you down.

Birthday and Christmas presents were always special from Grandpa and Grandma. There was something about them that could only come from grandparents. Occasionally, they may have missed a little on age-appropriateness, but it was distinctly their gift.

I overheard a high school girl in Chicago refer to her grandparents: “They’re old, but I love them.” I don’t understand why being old had to be almost apologized for. It isn’t their fault, but it is to their credit they have persisted this long. Seeing you fully grown and started in your life’s work is a principal goal of theirs. Their lives aren’t complete until they have seen this of yours.

However, this teenager’s soft and sweet tone in asserting she loves them more than made up for her difficulty in understanding age. This is why God invented grandparents: to love and to be loved. Be careful not to speak patronizingly to them. Please respect them and allow them to retain their dignity. As a young child with little sense of history, you asked if they voted for Abraham Lincoln. As an adult with an expected long future, you assume they will be around forever. They won’t.

Grandparents are perishable and must be enjoyed while ripe. Don’t waste your present opportunities. If you neglect your grandparents until it’s too late, you’ll live the rest of your life as incomplete.