I’m a believer.

Mower County does need the new jail.

Instead of scoffing at the wisdom of building a concrete monument to crime in downtown Austin, citizens should embrace it.

Instead of railing against the expenditure of millions of tax dollars to control illegal immigration and drunk driving, citizens should praise officials foresight.

Instead of deploring how the three blocks of commercial real estate were taken from the city’s property tax rolls, citizens should appreciate this kind of critical thinking.

Just as a vibrant shopping center needs an anchor to attract shoppers, so does a successful downtown retail district need a magnet of its own. (If only the Austin City Council would see the value of turning the North Main Street fire clean up site into a dog park.)

Yes, People, Mower County needs the new jail, and I am ready to say I am a believer.

The reason? Answer: Food terrorists are stealing fried chicken.

The Austin Daily Herald broke the story Friday, Oct. 16. Austin resident reports fried chicken stolen read the headline.

According to the story, the victim told police Someone broke into his apartment in the past several days and stole shoes, computer equipment and Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Forget the shoes and computer equipment, but taking fried chicken even several days old is a sad statement how far humankind has descended today.

A bucket of chicken is a man’s gold.

To be sure, it was another crime of violence. The victim told police a screen was ripped and a door broke open to gain entrance to an apartment, where the chicken roosted unaware in a bucket.

After the Austin Daily Herald first broke the story, alerting the public to the news that fried chicken may not be safe in a home, that other Austin daily newspaper caught up with the Herald a day later. (Probably responding to public pressure not to cover up the threat to fried chicken safety.)

The other Austin daily newspaper’s day-later account ran on page four. The Herald’s ran on page two. Food, other items stolen from Austin residence was the watered-down headline over the story.

The Herald’s story was positioned at the top left of its second page on the day of publication. The other Austin daily paper stuck it on page four.

To understand just how important the criminal act was, the other Austin daily newspaper ran a picture of the Austin Police Chief with the account.

And people say daily newspapers are losing their subscribers. How can that be true?

These two stories convinced me: The Mower County Jail is needed now more than ever. In fact, they need to build a fried chicken thieves wing when they catch the person or persons responsible for such a heinous (or hen-ous) crime.

Pluck them from their roost. Then grill them good. Pour a little salt in their wings.

No community is safe until their fried chicken is safe.