Lol.

It feels good. Even helps you stay “regular” doctors say.

There’s no guarantee readers will fall on their knees, laughing uncontrollably until cheers roll down their cheeks, but there should be at least a smile, a snicker or a smirk.

There’s always the chance the jokes have been heard before. A good joke deserves to be passed along.

Of course, some people like to talk about unfunny things happening in the Austin community. These stories produce more shaking of the head in disbelief and nervous laughter than anything else.

For instance, the new bridge being constructed across the Cedar River near the Roosevelt (Fourth Street SE) Bridge.

Gary said that’s not funny.

“$450,000 for a pedestrian bridge? What were they thinking? They already took down two walking bridges over the Cedar. I don’t see crowds of people walking across the Roosevelt Bridge sidewalk. The city tells us they’re broke and out of money, but somehow they come up with money for a new bridge.”

According to Gary, the joke is on us.

Another unfunny story being shared is the fire at Apple Lane Daycare Center last week.

No one was injured and no property lost, but an eyewitness reports a curious scene.

“There were three police cars, one television station car and a radio station vehicle at the scene before a fire truck showed up,” she said.

That struck me as unusual after all the fuss they made over response times to emergencies in the past.

The next thing you know, they’re going to send a firefighter, fire truck and fire dog to a kid’s birthday party. I haven’t heard of something like that being done since you-know-who drove a fire truck to a wedding reception.

Hey fire department? What are you doing next Feb. 14?

Who’s laughing now?

Another unfunny story starts with a question posed to me recently. “Do you remember the good old days in Austin when the only false ID forgery cases the police had were underage teenagers altering their IDs to buy beer?” the man said. “Now we have people using false IDs to get jobs, drive a car, apply for public assistance, get credit, rent a house and live in the United States.”

Again, an unfunny story that produced something resembling a snarl instead of a snicker.

There are funny stories and they, too, deserve to be shared.

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were

in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No,” she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying ‘Yes.’

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

See? Don’t you feel better now for reading that?

Lol again.

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1 a.m., the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea,” she replied “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”

‘Wow! That’s a great idea!’, he exclaimed.

‘Good,’ she replied. “Get your own blanket.”

After a moment of silence, he farted.

Still lol.

The other day in church a friend told me, “Biscuits and sermons are a lot better with a little shortening.”

More lol.

Finally, I heard this one at the Adams Legion chicken fry supper recently: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

Answer: One requires a tweet-ment and the other requires an oink-ment.

Ain’t that a hoot?

OK, I will have to do more prospecting for funny stories after that lame one.