This just in, there’s another PETA.

Everybody knows about the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals group. How many know about the other one? This one is for People Enjoy Tasting Animals advocates.

This just in, here’s another experiment gone terribly wrong.

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.

He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects.

1. A Bible.

2. A silver dollar.

3. A bottle of whiskey.

4. And a Playboy magazine.

‘I’ll just hide behind the door,” the old preacher said to himself. “When he comes home from school today, I’ll see which object he picks up.”

“If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!”

“If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.”

“But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.”

“And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he’s going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.”

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine’s centerfold.

“Lord have mercy,” the old preacher disgustedly whispered. “He’s gonna run for Congress.”

This just in, it isn’t Samuel Johnson and his neo-Nazi supporters who cause the most trouble at those immigration reform rallies on the Mower County Veterans Memorial square.

According to a reliable source, who wears a badge, it’s the other side who is responsible for most of the misbehavior and arrests.

This just in, Tony Bennett is running for Mower County Commissioner in the 4th District. Check out the bumper sticker on his vehicle.

Mr. Bennett is, of course, one of the organizers of a belated protest/petition drive that challenged the legality of the county boards handling of the issuants of bonds for the new Mower County Jail & Justice Center.

The 4th District is currently represented by the Mayor of Dutchtown, Dick Lang.

This just in, what if a former Austin Public Schools Superintendent and school board members were subpoenaed to testify in a civil case stemming from the November 2007 school board elections (or as some people call it: Cirque Du Soleil) and fallout from Curt Rude’s arrest.

This just in, an Austin mechanical contractor (a plumber) claims the hot beef plate (hot mashed potatoes smothered in gravy with meat) served at Bubbles Cafe in Adams is better thank the meatloaf special I brag about.

Who are you going to believe? A journalist who still enjoys afflicting the comfortable and comforting the afflicted or a plumber who exposes his crack when he bends over?

This just in, Minnesotans wont like this.

A man in Topeka, Kan. decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.

He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read “Calls: $10,000 a minute..” Seeking out the pastor, he asked about the phone and the sign.

The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct

line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Denver, Oklahoma City and around the United States, he found more phones with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Iowa. Upon entering a church in Sutherland, Iowa, behold – he saw the usual golden telephone. But this time, the sign read “Calls: 35 cents.”

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, “Pastor, I have been in cities and towns all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was$10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call.

Why?”

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, “Son, you’re in Iowa you’re in God’s Country, It’s a local call.”

And that’s the way it is or my name ain’t Lou Dobbs.