Will I be invited to Fire Chief Dan Wilson’s retirement party?

Should all Austin school board members be required to take polygraph test before being sworn in?

Have the Mower County Commissioners missed something in their new jail plans by not anticipating cells for transgender prisoners arrested at immigration reform protest in downtown Austin?

Stop!

I can’t take it any more.

My sanity is beginning to unravel. I think I’m going crazy.

I need help. I need relief. I need the meatloaf special at Bubble’s Café in Adams.

If it’s Thursday, that means the meatloaf special is being served at Bubble’s Café.

It’s a meal to die for.

Mashed potatoes smothered in gravy and a thick slice of succulent meatloaf: It’s the best.

If you choose a slice of baked pie for dessert—maybe topped with whipped cream or ice cream—you will want to send your wife to cooking school until she catches up with the kitchen magicians at Bubble’s Café.

God would leave a hefty tip here.

Of course, meatloaf isn’t the only item on the menu. Regulars have other favorites. Broasted chicken and the Friday night fish fry are popular too.

Even the bottomless cup of coffee keeps customers coming back.

Also, burgers.

Southern Minnesota Magazine recently gave “Best Burger” accolades to the sandwich served at Bubble’s Café.

Piggy Blues and Tendermaid in Austin also received praise for their burgers and deservedly so.

Of course, good food isn’t the only attraction at the café.

The latest “gossip” is as juicy as a steak.

During a recent visit, I learned Jim Sathre was the first man to stare at goats like they do in the new movie. He learned it from John Smith. Jim did it so often it made wife Connie so nervous she ordered him to stop.

Nobody knows for sure what secret ingredient Fred Harvey puts in the fried chicken at American Legion Post No. 146, but it keeps people coming back for more. Even wife Helen won’t say.

A rival dairy farmer claims Lynn Sathre is experimenting with ways to capture methane gas emitted by his Holstein cows.

Things went terribly wrong the other night when Lynn tied a pilot light to a cows tail, lit it and was blown to McIntire, Iowa.

Jane and Christy refused to pick up Lynn and give him a ride home and Harvey, Lynn’s dad, just laughed when told what his son did.

Gary Thome claims swine flu could be cured if producers gave their pigs penicillin shots and told them to drink plenty of liquids and get bed rest.

Jane and the kids could only shake their heads in disbelief.

The attractive blond woman greeting guests with a smile, dancing from table to table to take orders, juggling plates of food in both hands, not waiting to be asked before refilling coffee cups and water glasses, tempting all with the offer of pecan, banana cream or another pie waiting in the oven is, of course, the one and only Bubbles herself…Jan Heller.

She’s one of those rare persons who knows there’s no room in life for a bad attitude but always room for a Best Burger or another piece of pie at her café.

What she knows can’t be taught in business school.

My advice: Try the meatloaf special and change your life.

Just don’t believe everything you hear in the place.