Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting:

“I no longer have a job. The boss made a remark that I found offensive and I left.”

“What did he say?”

“He said, ‘You’re fired.’”

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: Attitudes are contagious. I might as well have one that is worth catching.

When a man is left alone

I was packing materials to take to the recycling bins. I had one of those tubes that are left after a paper towel roll is emptied. I put the tube to my lips and said, “Toodle-doo!”

I had to do that.

The café chronicles

I sat down at the philosophy table at the café. It was a beautiful day to be indoors. A turn of the calendar had given numbers more meaning.

“It was so cold this morning, I had to go out to the henhouse with a chisel and chip the ice off the chickens,” said a philosopher as a greeting.

“It was two degrees when I came in,” I said as a means of checking in.

“I hope it gets up to three,” replied a hopeful friend.

It’s good to have realistic goals.

Thrilling days of yesteryear

In the days when you didn’t need to call for a doctor’s appointment or get prior approval from an insurance company for treatment, my mother would take me to see Dr. George M. Olds in New Richland. Doc was a great guy, but I never wanted to see him because he gave me either a shot or some vile tasting medicine to drink. I went into that limp mode that children do when they have to go where they don’t want to go. The bones in my body became liquid. I became Raggedy Andy. Mother had to drag me into Doc’s office. Lucky for me, she was good at that.

When stop signs weep

My hometown has a four-way intersection that we regard with pride. It has four stop signs. People come from miles around to stop. It’s nice when drivers stop for such signs. There is a stop sign not far from my rural residence that not many stop for unless they see a car coming. Some won’t stop unless they see a police car coming. People have died in collisions caused by drivers running that stop sign. It’s an unappreciated stop sign placed where it is for a good reason.

Overheard

At a visitation, “Thank you for coming,” said a member of the deceased’s family.

Replied the mourner, “My pleasure.”

Reading this will …

… Bring good luck

The man from Nebraska told me that he carried an acorn in his pocket to insure good luck. I told him that I carried a worry stone in my pocket. It’s a smooth, polished, oval-shaped rock with a thumb-sized indentation. Some folks call it a thumb stone or palm stone.

When held between the index finger and thumb, rubbing the worry stone is supposed to lessen one’s worries. The fellow added that he wore copper bracelets to curb arthritis and owned a Chihuahua because he believed it prevented asthma. He won.

Nature notes

The winter color of the European starling is a glossy iridescent black with purple and greens, with the tips of the feathers having white stars. In spring, the white feather tips have worn away and are no longer noticeable by the breeding season. The starling in winter has a dark brown bill that changes to yellow as the breeding season approaches. Starlings are talented vocal mimics with an individual capable of learning the calls of up to 20 other bird species.

They are strong fliers that are able to reach speeds up to 48 mph.

Meeting adjourned

Samuel Taylor Coleridge said, “The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions — the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.