Echoes From the Loafers’ Club Meeting:

“I have a toothache.”

“Why tell me? I’m an eye doctor.”

“Oh, then I guess there’s something wrong with my eyes, too.”

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: I do first things first, but not necessarily in that order.

I’ve learned

To chop wood the first thing in the morning because the early bird gets the warm.

Cellphone calls are irritating unless they are mine.

If I learn something new each day, I’ll have more to forget.

Thankful for this

At a family gathering after Thanksgiving, my wife’s cousin Kay Hickler of Litchfield presented my bride with an old baseball glove. It may have seemed odd gift as my wife’s baseball career had stalled before it began, but she was thrilled to get the battered glove. Why? The glove had less form than an oven mitt and was flat as a pancake. It was a Young Leaguer Model K302. A genuine cowhide job with a thin strap of leather tethering the forefinger to the thumb. The other three were free-range fingers. What made the glove special were the initials written on it. GLN. The initials of her late father, Gene Nelson. The glove had been a dream come true for a young boy. Years later, it has become a precious memory for his daughter.

Everything depends on everything

Scott Seiberlich of Burnsville was born at midnight on December 31 or on January 1, depending on your outlook. The doctor asked Scott’s father if he wanted his son to be born in the year ending or the year beginning. Scott’s father considered the tax deduction a child provided and Scott’s birthdate became December 31.

You wouldn’t think that such a simple decision would make much difference in a life, but it did.

The Selective Service System of the United States conducted a lottery to determine the order of call to military service during the Vietnam War. The lottery consisted of 366 (including February 29) slips of paper placed into plastic capsules, which were put into a large fish bowl. The capsules were extracted one at a time and determined the order in which young men would be drafted. September 14 was the first date picked, followed by April 25. Scott’s birthday of December 31 was the 100th capsule drawn. January 1 was the 305th picked. Men born on one of the first 195 dates drawn were called to serve.

Talking traffic

Iris Tarvestad of Albert Lea and I were talking about the ever-increasing traffic. Iris said that her husband, Terry, explained the growing number of wheels on roads this way, “Nobody wants to be where they are.”

Iris added that while visiting Germany, she and Terry were on one side of the street attempting to get to the other side. The traffic was so heavy and there was no relief in sight. Iris asked and a fellow pedestrian, “How do you get to the other side of the street?”

The man replied, “You have to be born there.”

Customer comments

C.E. Vollum of Albert Lea told me that he was as sharp as a tack — the pointed end. I was glad that he was recovering from a health issue. C.E. said that he was like morning breath. He never goes away completely.

Bruce Langlie of Hartland was at a funeral when he ran into a woman that he hadn’t seen for years. The lady asked Bruce who he was. He identified himself. She said, “No, I knew Bruce Langlie. He was good-looking and had curly hair.”

Larry Nelson of Waldorf said that his grandfather, Logan Huxford, once operated a Standard gas station in that city. When customers stopped during the noon hour, Logan greeted them this way, “Come on in and watch me eat.”

Doug Bushlack of New Richland saw his young granddaughter, Isabel, with a cookie in each hand. Doug told her, “No more cookies.” Isabel agreed readily. There weren’t any cookies left.