Parents need support not judgment

Published 7:01 pm Sunday, August 23, 2015

QUESTION: Any thoughts about not being judgmental about other parents?

ANSWER: Parents in challenging circumstances with their children need support, not judgment.  I know a young mother who wrote the following on her Facebook page and it’s so great, I asked to share it.

“During many years of working in childcare, I made a study of not judging other parents.  This required a lot of brain training.  If you want to start learning this useful skill, here are some tips:

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1. When you see a parent do something you disagree with, think to yourself, “I might not do it that way.”

2. When you see a parent melting down at a child, think to yourself, “I do not know what led to this moment.”

3. When you see a child melting down in public, think to yourself, “I’m so glad that I don’t have to deal with that.”

4. If you see a child doing something potentially dangerous, ask the child’s accompanying adult if they know about it. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you, but do you know that your kid is playing with a bottle of aspirin?”

I think that if lots of people practiced this way of thinking, the world would be a much kinder and safer place for parents and children.  I do my best mom-ing when I feel confident in my choices and secure in my relationships.

I do my absolute worst mom-ing when I’m reacting out of fear and feel rejected by others.”

If you would like to talk about the challenges in raising children, call the toll-free Parent WarmLine at 1-888-584-2204/Linea de Apoyo at 1-877-434-9528. For free emergency child care call Crisis Nursery at 1-877-434-9599.  Check out www.familiesandcommunities.org and the Love and Logic resources at the PRC Specialty Library (105 First Street SE, Austin) .