QUESTION: I’m really trying to be a responsible parent and I’m feeling like a failure.

 ANSWER: Responsible parenting is not for wimps. Sometimes parenting is the hardest job you will ever have.

Sometimes you have to let your toddler cry when he has to learn he can’t always get his way.

Sometimes your 7-year-old won’t eat anything but chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, and maybe hamburger pickle slices, for weeks at a time, no matter what you try. You just have to wait until she’s a year older or her best friend influences her to expand her food options.

Sometimes you have to watch your teenager fail a class. In fact, there is nothing you can do or should do. Some kids learn best by failure. He’ll be dejected or angry and you’ll worry about his future and you’ll both be miserable.

The majority of parents have experienced at least one child arguing like an attorney, power struggles over homework and chores, meltdowns over little changes, transitions or disappointments, whining about “fairness,” the lack of motivation at school and the anxiety of a child being able to relate to adults and younger children, but not peers.

While there are no easy answers, there are helpful strategies which can be shared by other parents and grandparents and learned by listening to great DVDs like “Celebrate Calm” by Kirk Martin, who can make you laugh because he’s so realistic about the reality that parenting can be brutally difficult.

 To talk with a parenting specialist about the challenges in child-raising, call the toll-free Parent WarmLine at 1-888-584-2204. For free emergency child care call Crisis Nursery at 1-877-434-9599. Check out www.familiesandcommunities.org and free resources at the Parenting Resource Center Specialty Library (105 First Street SE, Austin).