Keeping the right resolution
Published 5:30 pm Sunday, January 10, 2016
QUESTION: What would be a helpful New Year’s Resolution for parents to keep?
ANSWER: If you are a parent and have never read, watched or listened to books, DVDs or CDs by Jim and Charles Fay (Love and Logic) or Kirk Martin (Celebrate Calm), doing so, in my opinion, would be the best resolution to keep during 2016.
These authors on positive parenting practices offer great approaches for relating to our children and teens in all kinds of situations. As you read, watch or listen, you will feel understood and valued as a parent, while you gain insights that will make life with your kids more enjoyable.
For instance, what about if you have at least one child who attempts to dominate the entire family? Dr. Charles Fay describes the child who feels entitled to be involved in every conversation and every activity.
When they aren’t, they create chaos to bring the focus back to them. He reminds us that “This is our time” or “This is a private conversation between your mom and me” or “You may stay with us as long as you aren’t interrupting” are very important boundaries.
Kids who are bright and strong-willed are good at sensing any kind of division between their parents or their parents and the school. When they do, they’ll use it to create chaos and to dominate the situation. Using Love and Logic techniques, you can keep from letting your child turn your child’s problem into a problem between you and someone else.
As Jim and Charles Fay observe, fortunately, bright and strong-willed kids will remain bright and strong-willed. As parents, we will not change their basic personalities. However, we can up the odds that they’ll use their passion and perseverance for good.
If you would like to talk with a parenting specialist about the challenges in child- raising, call the toll-free Parent WarmLine at 1-888-584-2204/Línea de Apoyo at 877-434-9528. For free emergency child care call Crisis Nursery at 1-877-434-9599. Check out www.familiesandcommunities.org and resources at the PRC Specialty Library (105 First Street S.E., Austin)
