Echoes From the Loafers’ Club Meeting

My brother-in-law is a liar, a thief, a cheater and a scoundrel.

He’s got a bad reputation, eh?

No, he’s a politician. It takes a lot more than that to get a bad reputation in politics.

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: Why are we most certain that we are right when we are wrong? If we put something in a microwave oven and have nothing to do but wait for the audible signal indicating completion, the microwave slows time. Why do we remember when the weatherman was wrong and not when he was right?

From here to there

The roadwork signs were blooming as I drove along.

Grain elevators stood tall. The prairie skyscrapers made me wonder why no Iowa high school athletic team was named the fighting Elevators.

Who knew? We were moving along Highway 30 about a mile east of Arcadia in Carroll County, Iowa, when we noticed a sign on the road that said “Missouri – Mississippi Divide. Elevation 1429. All water west of this Divide flows to the Missouri River and water east flows to the Mississippi River.”

Entering Greene County, I sang, I couldn’t help it. “Greene County is the place for me. Farm livin’ is the life for me. Land spreadin’ out so far and wide. Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.”

In Sioux City, we stopped at the Sergeant Floyd Monument. Needing something for the journey, we went to Bomgaar’s. I hadn’t much more than entered the big store when I detected the sounds of cheeping baby chicks. The sounds of peeping poultry are as powerful as the song of the Sirens that lured mariners to their destruction. I walked in the direction that the sounds were coming from. I found what I was looking for. Cute little Rhode Island Reds being stared at and held by kids galore. I knew that would be the case.

We found shelter in a hotel. It had rained hard. I stepped outside to get a good look at the day. The world smelled like wet chipmunks.

We made a stop at a Council Bluffs eatery. The staff wore T-shirts proclaiming, “I love my job,” with a heart symbol displacing “love.” I hope they all loved their jobs, but there were so many employees that was doubtful. There had to be at least one who hated his job, but was forced to wear that shirt as a requirement to stay employed. That was cruel and unusual punishment.

I sang, “We’re goin’ to the zoo, zoo, zoo. How about you, you, you? You can come too, too, too. We’re goin’ to the zoo, zoo, zoo.”

We went to Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. It had a monkey that looked at me if I were a close relative.  What more could I ask from a trip?

Ask Al

“What should I do if my clothes are on fire?” Don’t put them on.

“Why do people drive so fast?” They want to get there before they forget where they’re going.

Mother’s Day

Mom gave me money for a snack. She told me to buy it and put it in her purse. She didn’t want me to eat it and spoil my dinner. I made the purchase and returned. My mother was talking to a friend of hers about things I neither had an interest in nor understood. I dropped my snack into Mom’s purse. That should have been the end of a sweet story, but when we got home, my ice cream cone had melted inside Mom’s purse.

Have you ever tiddled? I can’t remember the last time I played tiddlywinks. Tiddlywinks is a game in which small plastic counters are flicked into a central receptacle by being pressed on the edge with a larger disk.

The last time I played tiddlywinks, it was against my mother. She let me win.

I miss Mom. I think of her every day. She always understood far more than I ever said.

Nature notes

“I saw what I thought was a white-throated sparrow, but the stripes on its head were tan instead of white. What kind of bird was it?” A white-throated sparrow. The white-throated sparrow comes in two color forms — white-striped and tan-striped. Males of both color types prefer females with white stripes. Both kinds of females prefer tan-striped males. White-striped birds are more aggressive than tan-striped sparrows.

Meeting adjourned

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” — Lao Tzu