Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

I got a speeding ticket yesterday. Everyone was driving so fast.

So, you were just trying to keep up with the traffic.

No, I was trying to get away from it.

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: Tough days are still days. When you are wrong, you are never alone. No day is ever removed from the calendar due to lack of interest. There is an old proverb that applies to everything. Stuff is anything that exceeds the space available.

I need a bigger bell

“I can barely hear you,” said a friend as I rang Salvation Army bells in a store. “You need a bigger bell.”

“Stand closer,” I advised.

He was generous in his giving. He believed what Anne Frank believed when she said, “No one ever becomes poor from giving.”

He has died. I’m blessed by his memory.

My wife brought her favorite turkey

I went into the bakery. A mince pie was hiding in the corner. That meant it was Thanksgiving.

I hope your Thanksgiving was a dandy and that you ate even when it wasn’t half time.

Grizzly bears love to eat dandelions. A friend in Alaska told me that the bears had pulled up all of the carrots in his garden, leaving the greens. He showed me a photo of a grizzly bear scratching its back on a sign reading “Soft shoulder.” I once led a tour in which our bus was used as a back scratcher by a grizzly bear. Such things bear thankfulness.

Thanksgiving is a time when a child is thankful that he didn’t echo an older aunt and tell her, “Look how you’ve grown!”

Thanksgiving is when someone once brought an odd food that they liked to the meal. Nobody else liked it. Everyone made fun of it. It was destined to become a tradition and has showed up on the table every year since.

I worry each year that they will invite the turkey, but not me. I ate one meal with family at a nursing home. I was thankful for the good company.

Moving pictures   

A friend is working in a cowboy movie being made in Texas. He’s a photographer, so he is doing photography and acting as an extra because he can ride a horse. The movie stars Tom Selleck, George Clooney, Sam Elliot and Clint Eastwood’s son, Scott. A friend named Jim Shook was an extra in the film “White Fang” that was made in Haines, Alaska. Jim was in front of the camera quite a bit, but it all ended up on the cutting room floor, except for his boots that remained in one scene. The flying fickle finger of fate flicked his feet. They were booted before the final version of the movie hit the theaters.

Parking paranoia

Cordelia Olson of New Richland said that she received 25 cents a month for helping her father milk cows. She took the quarter to Farmers State Bank in beautiful downtown Hartland. With that money, she bought a driver’s license. My father did something similar as a young fellow. He drove to town, purchased a license and then drove legally back to the farm.

Driving is a big deal. A young person in my family just got her license. Parallel parking is a big part of a driving test. It causes many to fail. Once licensed, many drivers spend the rest of their lives avoiding parallel parking.

I was driving in the Wolverine State. Michigan has more than 11,000 lakes, 36,000 miles of streams and rivers, and it touches four of the Great Lakes. I found my hotel and made plans to park the car.

I suffer from classic parking guilt. If another car had chosen to straddle a line outlining a parking stall, I’m forced to do the same or park elsewhere. When that car parked next to me leaves, my parked car looks like a scofflaw drives it. This attracts door dingers. I want to be nice and practice perfect parking. I know what you’re thinking. Who even thinks about such things? I’ll tell you who thinks about such things. Drivers suffering from parking guilt.

Nature notes

“How can I tell a male blue jay from a female?” Blue jays are sexually monomorphic, which means that males and females look exactly alike to us. The birds recognize characteristics that make it easy for them to differentiate the sexes.

Meeting adjourned

You can be anything you want to be. Be kind.