Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

It’s like I always say, “A watched pot never boils.”

What? That has nothing to do with my situation.

I know, but that’s what I always say.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his driveway, thoughts occur to me, such as: I’d attended a visitation for the mother of friends. It was both a sad and a happy gathering. Later I told Scott Routh of New Richland that it was good to see him. He replied, “Better to be seen than viewed.”

Don Forsling died recently. I did some public radio commentaries back in the day on WOI Radio in Ames. Don was the master of the airwaves on WOI. He loved trains and jazz. The first time I ever heard a Blossom Dearie song was when Don played one on the radio. I’ve listened often to Blossom Dearie since that day. That makes me happy. We should thank people while they can hear us, but I can’t. The best I can do is to write this — thanks, Don.

In the outhouse era, catalogs were used as toilet paper

The mailbox brings a plethora of garden catalogs. The images presented in those interesting publications taunt me with their perfection. The photos resemble what I will grow just as much as menu photos do the food we receive. I believe they use professional vegetable and flower models for their photos.

By February, I’m anxious to see tilled soil and green plants.

There is a song by Joni Mitchell called “Big Yellow Taxi” that has these lyrics: “Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” Those words don’t apply to my garden as I miss it almost immediately after it’s put to bed, but it could be sung about toilet paper.

A family member got a doctorate in statistics. I know. Just thinking of that gives me a headache, too. She’s 91.6 percent happy that she did.

That’s a nice happy number to have, but back to toilet paper. There is an old and frequent argument as to which way toilet paper should come off a roll. According to a Cottonelle Roll Poll, 72 percent of people roll it over and 28 percent prefer their TP to roll under. A study done by Dr. Gilda Carle found that the roll-over set are dominant people, more likely to have Type-A personalities, while the roll-under group are more submissive. If you want to be president one day, stop rolling your toilet paper under.

We take toilet paper for granted, just as we do things like working zippers. I don’t care whether toilet paper comes under or over a roll. Surprise me, but don’t surprise me by the lack of toilet paper.

Barb Thompson of New Richland told me that when her sister Diane was a young girl, she was given a jump rope. Diane tried using it, but gave up in disgust by saying, “This rope won’t jump!”

I don’t care if a rope jumps, but I do care that toilet paper is available and jumps off the roll. That’s how I roll.

I’m 100 percent sure of that.

Nature notes

Jill Demmer of Hartland has a cardinal attacking a window of her house and wondered how to discourage that behavior. Female birds have been known to do this, but it’s mostly male birds that attack windows. The reason is basic. In spring, cardinals claim territories and seldom share territories with other cardinals. When a male cardinal spots another male, a chasing fight ensues. The dominant male gets a mate, the nesting location, the territory and the area’s food. The loser develops an inferiority complex.

When a cardinal sees its reflection in a window, it’s seeing another cardinal in its territory. The cardinal attacks until the intruder goes away. A real cardinal would flee, but the reflection remains.

Being persistent and stubborn, the cardinal continues to attack its reflection. He may stop on his own, but you might bring his actions to a halt by blocking the image. Soap the outside of the window or put a piece of cardboard or plastic cling on the window’s outer glass where the bird is attacking.

It might cause the bird to take its fight to another window and may make Martha Stewart shudder, but in most cases, you won’t have to maintain it for long. I once had to cover my car’s (a boss Rambler) side mirrors with paper bags to calm a shadowboxing cardinal.

Meeting adjourned

“What wisdom can you find greater than kindness?” Jean-Jacques Rousseau