Who among us has not had, or wanted to have, their fortunes told?  After all, it tickles our fancies to learn if we’re going to be rich, going to travel the oceans blue, or going to have a bodice ripping romance.  Still we hesitate to pay our hard earned money for these glimpses into our futures for how can we know the truth in them?  Our good sense side tells our impulsive inquisitive side that fortune tellers are questionable.  Indeed, charlatans? impostors? swindlers? cheats? … or all four!

Despite this, there is one fortune teller to whom — without hesitation — we all pay heed. She lacks a turban and has no crystal ball. Instead she arrives on a plate …  at the end of every Chinese meal. Yes, the good old fortune cookie.  Where would any self-respecting Chinese buffet be without it?

China gets all the credit for this kooky cookie when the truth is that the idea actually originated in Japan in the 19th Century.  From there it was brought to California where it became wildly popular.  Today the largest manufacturer of fortune cookies is Wonton Foods, headquartered in Brooklyn, New York, where they make over 4.5 million per day!

The vice president of Wonton Foods, Donald Lau, has amazingly made up most of the fortunes.  The majority of them are positive, but occasionally Donald slips in a downer. Chinese restaurant owners frown upon this, though, as who wants their customers to leave in a blue funk?

Such far flung places as Brazil, Canada, France, India, Italy, Mexico, England and Austin, Minnesota, serve fortune cookies.  Again I remind you that these soothsaying pastries do not come from China.  Just think, we have at last, ironically, discovered the only thing in this world that is not made in China!

Only four ingredients go into the batter: flour, sugar, vanilla and sesame seed oil.  The cookies are baked flat and resemble sugar cookies minus the sugar … and the butter … which immediately explains why they are not made here in Minnesota.  As they leave the oven, a strip of paper containing a fortune is laid across the middle of each baked cookie. Then, while still soft, the two sides are folded up and pinched together.  The final move is to bend the cookie into an arch and then allowed to dry.  After, it is whisked across the world and ends up on a tray at the China Star Restaurant in Austin.

We would be less than honest if we said we didn’t like to read our fortunes.  Let’s face it, even the coolest lumberjack among us can’t resist. Sometimes the cookies offer pleasing insights into what’s in store for us.  Other times they simply leave us baffled. The fortune my husband and I want to see is the one that says, “Help! Call the police!  I’m being held captive in a fortune cookie factory!!!” We’ve yet to find it.

The next time you’re sitting back rubbing your full belly after a bounteous Chinese feast, try this.  As you and your companions crack open your cookies and begin to read them aloud, add the phrase “between the sheets” after each fortune.  They will come out something like this:

You will work in earnest to gain great wealth … between the sheets.

All who meet you will learn of your talents … between the sheets.

You will soon have a religious experience … between the sheets.

A high level business deal will be negotiated … between the sheets.

You will gain world wide recognition for your inventiveness … between the sheets.

You will have many children … between the sheets.  (No surprise there!)

See what I mean?  It adds a whole new level of delight to the fortune cookie game, plus you’re certain to leave the restaurant in high spirits. In the meantime, the owner of the China Star will shake his head in wonder at the sudden boost of frivolous frivolity bubbling from his clientele.

Did you know the Chinese New Year is celebrated in February?  It is now the Year of the Dog … but … it is best that your pet not know this, if you know what I mean?  There are twelve symbols in the Chinese zodiac which begin with the rat and end with the dog.  Ancient folk tales have it that the animals from all over China once gathered for a race across a river to determine the order of the zodiac cycle.  An additional caveat stated that the first twelve creatures to finish would each get his own year dedicated exclusively to him.

Near the end of the race, the cat and rat decided to ride across the river on the back of the ox, but the wily rat betrayed the cat by knocking him off into the river.  This resulted in the ox and the rat nearing the river’s edge first.  But, the race was not over.  The rascally rat scurried ahead and crossed the finish line only a hair before the ox, thus claiming the prize.

The dog, far back in the pack, came in eleventh, followed last by the pig.  What a good thing it is that Austin does not have a Chinese zodiac.  After all, here the pig is first in all that is Austin.