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Echoes from the

Loafers’ Club Meeting

You should come over and see my new dog. It’s a rescue.

Ah, you’ve finally realized I’m a dog whisperer.

No, that’s not it. I want to see if the dog bites.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. I went for a stroll. There was no time like the present, as I could see the dust of the day galloping away from me. There were a good number of people scrolling as they walked. I hoped they weren’t ruining a good walk by doomscrolling. I’ll admit to yapping on the phone occasionally while walking.

Earlier, I’d been working in the hot sun. Moving one pile to where it used to be and another to where it once had been. It was exciting work, but it was a scorcher. I mumbled to myself, “It must be 100 degrees.” I talk to myself because I know I’m listening. It wasn’t 100 degrees, but I had to check when the latest day of the year had been when the temperature reached 100 in Minnesota. It was on Sept. 22, 1936, when it hit 100 degrees in Ada in Norman County. I was in Des Moines for work a while back and read that Des Moines had hit 100 degrees on Sept. 11, 1927. I reckon other parts of Iowa, a well-known tropical getaway, likely hit 100 at later dates. On July 20, 1934, it was 118 degrees in Keokuk and on April 20, 1918, Lenox received 24 inches of snow. I needed to tell myself about the snowfall in order to dry the sweat I feared I might drown in.

A family member visited. He lives in Phoenix, along with 1,608,139 other people. He doesn’t know them all. I guess it’s not a close-knit community. Shade is a hot commodity there, but he likes Phoenix because it has a dry heat. Apparently, you have to tell someone “It’s a dry heat” every day or you’re forced to leave Phoenix. Phoenix’s record-breaking streak of 100-degree days this year ended on Sept. 17 after 113 consecutive days of triple-digit temperatures. It had been as hot as a stolen habanero. How hot was it on Sept. 17? Only 93 degrees. Parka sales at the Phoenix boutiques skyrocketed.

I’ve learned

Eating, sleeping and breathing are words to live by.

To respect my elderberries.

If we were penguins, you’d remind me of everyone I know.

People who tell us to do our own research have never done their own research.

Rewards programs are good at saving us money on things we wouldn’t buy if we weren’t members of a rewards program.

The three stages of life are wanting stuff, accumulating stuff and getting rid of stuff.

Ask Al

“What is a co-signer?” An idiot who can write.

“What football player wears the biggest helmet?” The one with the biggest head.

“What would you do if you had $1 billion?” Nothing.

Nature notes

Pale green corn rootworm beetles wander away from cornfields in late summer to visit gardens where they feed on flowers and vegetables.

I’m seeing murmurations of starlings, those wondrous shape-shifting flocks. I listened to the hummingbirds—the hum of the wings and their chittering voices. Hummingbirds drop their internal temperature, inducing a temporary state of torpor, and need less energy, and therefore less food, to withstand frigid temperatures. If you spot a motionless hummingbird, don’t be alarmed. It’s torpor. Young hummers migrate along the same routes and winter in the same places their ancestors have, some making an 18-hour flight across the Gulf of Mexico.

One group of pelicans will drive prey towards another group of pelicans. The American white pelican eats up to three pounds of fish per day. It also eats salamanders, tadpoles and crayfish. The downy woodpecker makes a whiney call that descends in pitch at the end. The hairy woodpecker’s call is similar but doesn’t descend in pitch at the end.

Mast is a term used to describe the fruit of trees and shrubs. A mast year is when a particular species produces more fruit than normal. Oaks have cycles of high and low yields. Oak masting happens every 2-5 years. In a mast year, seed-eating animals are unlikely to eat all the seeds produced, leaving the rest to sprout. An abundance of acorns is said to augur a harsh winter, but that’s untrue.

In September, monarch butterflies congregate in large numbers and by the end of October, they have left the state in a mass migration to their winter grounds.

Meeting adjourned

To have a kind word and not share it is like stealing.