QUESTION: Do people who are “good with animals” make good parents?

ANSWER: I appreciate the autobiography of Mary Rose O’Reilly, “The Barn At the End of the World” and her shepherding description of “haltering up” lambs to get them ready for judging struck me as insightful for parenting.

There were several steps. The lamb has to be haltered every day, after catching it, of course, which takes an hour. With practice, catching the lamb becomes pretty easy; a lamb seems to sense the shepherd’s confidence and gives up.

In Mary O’Reilly’s words, “Much like children, lambs make a big fuss, but respond to rather little show of authority. Willingness to throw a flying tackle also helps.” The halter needs to be tied short, so that the lamb has no space to butt its way through the fence or break its neck running to the end of the leash. The experienced parent will understand the correlation to clear boundaries set tight enough that when children test them, which they will, they still remain within low-risk territory.

After haltering, the shepherd basically plays with the lamb until it becomes tame. There is no substitute for positive, focused attention if we want cooperative children. Play with young children 15 minutes every day, letting them choose the focus of the play. Talk with older children for 15 minutes every day, following their lead in conversation. Don’t give directions or make decisions during that 15 minutes; listen and share ideas.

After play, the shepherd draws the haltered lamb into her lap, holding it close; the shepherd puts her arm around the lamb and breathes with it. As the lamb senses the shepherd’s body heat, it relaxes and becomes comfortable.

The next step is for the shepherd to try to lead the lamb by tugging at the halter just a little, putting her hand under the lamb’s chin and easing forward. According to Mary O’Reilly, “a little push on the tail does wonders.” All the while, the shepherd is cooing “Come lamb; come lamb” and bleating softly if no one is around. It’s an observed fact that lambs perk up their ears at the shepherd’s bleating. Animals respond to sounds in their own language. Most parents know the positive influence of tender words, silly rhymes and singing. Good shepherds never drag or hit their lambs. If the proper steps are followed, lamb after lamb comes along nicely. So do children.

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