QUESTION: What’s the best way to prepare my three-year-old for the arrival of a baby in our family?

ANSWER: It’s important to tell children about the upcoming arrival of a baby before they have a chance to overhear the news from friends or relatives. Remember that young children hear us talking with others, even when we are in another room or having conversations on the telephone.

Without fanfare, simply say in a pleasant tone, “We are going to have a new baby in the family.” If a child feels comfortable and secure in your love, it is less likely that there will be a lot of jealousy towards a new sibling. Still, change brings mixed feelings.

It is helpful to say something like, “Sometimes the baby will be fine; other times the baby will cry and need a lot of watching. At times you may feel left out and jealous. If you feel this way, come and tell me. I’ll give you extra attention so you’ll feel good again.” It’s also valuable to remind your child that all our hearts are able to make plenty of room to love everyone in a growing family.

There are some steps that can minimize difficulties because of a new baby:

• Make any needed changes in your older child’s routine well before the new baby arrives. If you are moving your older child out of the crib, treat the change like a promotion, not a displacement.

• Keep your older child home in familiar surroundings during the birth time. If at all possible, don’t send your older child away to relatives. The very best is if another important family member, dad or grandma, can take time to be home.

Before you leave for the hospital, say good-bye to your older child and talk about when you will return. Arrange for a hospital room visit after the birth. Allow for a close-up look of the new baby. Keep in touch with your older child by frequent phone calls.

• After the newcomer arrives, your older child needs to have the important adults in his life to himself at times. Schedule times alone together.

• Allow your older child to help with the routines of the baby’s care so that he or she feels like it is his or her baby also.

Help your older child be prepared to share the newest special story about the baby with visitors, so that he or she naturally receives some focused attention.

If you would like to talk with a parenting specialist about challenges in raising children, call the Parent WarmLine — 1-888-584-2204. Línea de Apoyo — 1-877-434-9528.

For free emergency child care, call Crisis Nursery — 1-877-434-9599. For more information check out www.familiesandcommunities.org.