Just shoot me.

Thursday, December 09, 1999

Just shoot me.

It’s only fair. A reporter is supposed to get the story straight and when they don’t, there are consequences to be met.

It started with the new managing editor. I kept calling him "Bob," which isn’t a bad name, but it’s not his name. That is "Chuck."

Then, I wrote a story about a certain Austin City Council member forced to resign his post, because of a possible conflict of interest, because, you may gasp in disbelief) all of a sudden, he realized that the company he works for is moving into Austin after talking all this time about the move. Because he is a council member and would have to vote on any financial assistance the city will be giving the business, some people could think he influenced the transaction.

I got the story mixed up every which way you could and got a nasty note from the editor who was forced to write the correction for the story. Served me right.

Then, I had to apologize to the council member in question, plus a few others, the mayor and every adult male between the ages of 25 and 50, who are between 5-6 and 5-10 and who doesn’t smoke. Served me wrong.

I was hoping I would be banned from reporting the Austin City Council, but that didn’t happen.

Just shoot me.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I walked into Glen and Judy and Spencer’s used car emporium to buy a pair of tires and Glen – he’s the nasty one; Judy and Spencer are nice – lit into me something fierce. It seems I got my Mullenbachs mixed up during a visit to Adams. Christina was identified right, but I mistook Veronica for Genevieve in a picture. To top it off, I also mistook Jerome, who is called "Red" for Ray and compounded my Mullenbachs mixup in a story.

Because Glen is related to the Mullenbachs, he took it personally.

Just shoot me.

There’s more, folks.

For the last several years, there has been a dog running around and biting people. There are court records to prove it. Its name is Sasha and the dog has been accused of biting humans in 1993 and 1997 and 1999.

Well, Sasha will bite no one no more, according to Jan Morrison, who informed me that I was given the wrong information when I wrote the dog was on the Austin Police Department’s death row after being accused of still another dog-biting incident. The dog was captured and being held as evidence in the latest case, but according to the citizen, the dog has been put down as they call it when capital punishment is applied to an animal.

May Sasha rest in peace and any stories about her, too.

Just shoot me.

Then, there was that picture taken by yours truly of a sign in the village of Lansing. The sign reads "The Lansing Sewer & Water Project Belongs Here" and there is an arrow pointing to a toilet below.

In the cutline below the picture, I wrote that the village’s plans for a new municipal water and sewer system had bogged down.

"Excuse me, Mr. Bonorden," a Lansing resident, Mrs. Bailey, wrote. "In reference to the caption under the ‘Pointed Opinion’ photo in the Dec. 5 paper, the efforts to bring municipal water and sewer to Lansing are not ‘bogged down.’ They are alive and well and moving along on schedule."

I can’t wait to run into the Lansing Township Board chairman the next time I see him. I just know there’s going to be trouble.

So, that’s the kind of week it has been and naturally it came as no surprise to me when I was misidentified as Bob Vilt. It happened once before, when I was mistaken for George Will.

Things happen and what can I say except: Just shoot me.

Bob Vilt – errr, Lee Bonorden’s column appears Thursdays