“Thank you.”

There I said it, can’t say it enough. Last Friday’s retirement party was a blast. Sorry, but I ran out of official Lee Bonorden pens.  I’ll save one for those who didn’t get one for my comeback party.  The last time I had that much fun was my honeymoon night. It was good to see all five of the Mower County commissioners there.  They did look a little nervous to me and probably wanted to be sure I was retiring. Now relax, boys: I’m retired. I think.

Of course there were a few notable absentees. How Honest Glenn could forego Lee Bonorden’s retirement party to hunt prairie dogs in North Dakota, I’ll never understand.  Two friends from Austin Utilities read me a poem. Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson they ain’t. Keep your day jobs Dave and Kelly.

I understand many people came for the free food. Good to see you Dick and Josie.

I was a little upset at having to share the spotlight with my granddaughter DeeDee, who graduated Grand Meadow High School that same day. She’s my first grandchild to reach that milestone.

It was a little unnerving that three funeral directors attended.  All three slipped me their cards.

Speaking of bubbles and Bubbles, I got plenty.  Kara gave me a bottle of bubbles and the other Bubbles — better know as The Holstein Lady — gave me a hug.

Good to see Vince and Bertie walking their beat.  Nobody will get away with vandalizing Austin’s beautiful parks if they have their way.

I got so many hugs, my chest still has bruises, and my hand is still healing from the bone-crushing handshakes, including quite a few from men.

I was truly embarrassed when an attractive female asked me to look at her chest.  Fortunately, she was wearing an old “Lee Bonorden For Mayor” T-shirt from bygone days.

Speaking of mayors, Mayor Tom and former Mayor Bonnie were there. Somebody said the fire chief gave them a ride to the party.  Wanna guess what they rode on?

I’d like to get something off my chest:  Through the years I’ve written a lot about Dan Wilson.  I just want to make it perfectly clear that Dan Wilson is the best used car salesman I’ve ever met.

Oh, you mean there’s another Dan Wilson?

You might have seen that giant tractor pull trophy at the guest table. I got that from my good friends at Lyle, and it made me happy.  I haven’t been that proud since I won the punt, pass and poop contest back in junior high.  If only I knew how to kick too.

It’s going to be harder to ride my bike around town because I will be carrying extra weight.  No, not any of the burgers and cake from the party, but memories of that special day in my life.

Only one more party to go:  Sunday morning at my favorite church, Grace Lutheran, where those crazy people are holding a coffee in my honor.  I sure hope Dr. Raskin can make this one.  Darn it all, I have to share that with another grandchild, my grandson Zeke is going to be 4 years old. It’s just like a grandchild to upstage a grandparent.

Until then, I will start going through the mail and report back to you next week. For instance, here’s one from “Nate, Ken, Karen and Tim, your friends at the Post-Bulletin.”

Now what the heck were they doing there?

It bears repeating, “thank you.”