QUESTION: We hear adult “experts” say what teens need from their parents. Is anyone asking the kids themselves?

RESPONSE: Research provides evidence that families who keep lines of communication open are able to handle the challenges of adolescence. A Talented and Gifted English class at Madison Memorial High School in Madison, Wis., listed some ways they would like their parents to communicate:

1. Don’t pressure us to achieve all the time. Remind us from time to time to slow down or goof off.

2. Praise us if we do okay. Sometimes it seems like nothing we do is good enough.

3. Tell us you love us, even if we act like we don’t want to hear it.

4. Be honest with us. Sooner or later we will find out the truth, and it makes us feel dumb if we were lied to.

5. Don’t yell. Nothing makes us want to fight back more.

6. Let us form our own opinions about some things. Chances are they’ll be a lot like yours.

7. If we have a major problem, help us solve it, don’t solve it for us. Otherwise, we’ll never learn how to function as adults.

8. Give us a chance to disagree with you without telling us that we’re “talking back.”

9. We love to hear about when we were little, and we like to hear about your teenage years as well. These stories don’t always have to teach a lesson; they’re fun.

10. Never stop talking to us. You are the only ones we can count on for reassurance and love.

If you would like to talk with a parenting specialist about the challenges in raising children, call the toll-free Parent WarmLine at 1-888-584-2204. For free emergency child care call Crisis Nursery at 1-877-434-9599. Check out the PRC Specialty Library at 105 First Street S.E., Austin and www.familiesandcommunities.org.