Echoes From the Loafers’ Club Meeting

I’m trying to lose 20 pounds by my birthday.

How many pounds do you have to go?

Twenty-seven.

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: A man of few words is a man without grandchildren. I’m growing taller. I know, because each time I bend down to tie my shoes, the shoelaces are farther away. If there is no airport in your town, are you living in Neverland?

The cafe chronicles

He was under the influence of gravy. He didn’t tip with money. He left 15 percent of his mashed potatoes uneaten.

He gave me a birthday gift. It was a burlap bag. He grinned and said, “For the man who has everything, here’s a bag to keep it in.”

He asked if I had a motto. I don’t. I don’t even have a tattoo. I asked him if he had a motto. I figured he did or he wouldn’t have asked. His was, “Whatever.”

He was thinking of getting a tattoo of the same.

Fred Rogers, Mister Rogers of children’s TV fame, said, “I believe that appreciation is a holy thing — that when we look for what’s best in a person we happen to be with at the moment, we’re doing what God does all the time. So in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we’re participating in something sacred.”

To nearly quote Mr. Rogers, “Thanks for being my neighbor.”

That would make a fine tattoo.

The news from Hartland

The Taste of Hartland Festival has been discontinued after 2 inches of street pavement was eaten.

County commissioner runs on the platform that if elected, he will diaper all Canada geese.

A traveling man  

We were coming back from somewhere and on our way to somewhere else. We’d been good, so we decided to reward ourselves with ice cream. We stopped at a Dairy Queen. I had a small vanilla cone. My bride had a blizzard. We have weather events now. In the winter, the event is usually a blizzard. We’re told that we’re getting more blizzards than in the past. Maybe it’s because Dairy Queen is making them.

I’d been hit with a case of lethologica as I walked a breakwater on Lake Superior. Lethologica is the inability to recall a precise word for something. I searched for the perfect word to describe Lake Superior. Perhaps none exists. A tourist brochure claimed that Lake Superior resembles a wolf’s head facing west. It added that the lake contains 10 percent of the Earth’s fresh water, enough water to cover the land of North and South America with a foot of water.

It was a wagon train

I liked the old cowboy movies in black-and-white. I especially enjoyed those featuring wagon trains. A scout would ride ahead to see what was over the hill. I’ve always appreciated people who are willing to do that.

I drove out of a busy downtown parking ramp. It was slow going. My vehicle had been parked on the fourth level. The ramp was packed and everyone wanted to leave at the same time. Backup lights were abundant and drivers antsy. I let some autos get in line ahead of me. It was the polite thing to do, but I wondered how many I should allow. Those parked in the reserved spaces butted their way into line. I’m not sure if it was rudeness or experience. I let seven ahead of me in three floors. The other 63 put themselves in front of me. Seven seemed like an appropriate number as I, too, was in a hurry. I had an appointment. I barely made it on time, but I knew that everybody else had dirt to scratch, too. I feel I let in enough, yet, I think I should have let more cut in ahead of me. I could have pretended they were scouts.

Nature notes

“Do birds have belly buttons?” An egg has a cord inside that attaches the developing embryo to the yolk sac. Instead of umbilical cord scars, birds have yolk sac scars at hatching, residual scars where the cord had been. The avian equivalent of a belly button is evident on a nestling. As the bird develops, that area becomes more compact, the scar fades and there is nothing to be seen of that scar on an adult.

Meeting adjourned

“Why kindness works. Kindness has pure intentions. Kindness is given freely. Kindness leaves a lasting legacy.” — Ron Cooper