Echoes From the Loafers’ Club Meeting

  I don’t remember that guy’s name.

  You should try ginkgo biloba.

  OK, but I think his last name is Johnson.

Driving by Bruce’s

  I had two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who lived across the road from each other. Now we’re down to one Bruce. Whenever I pass his driveway, thoughts occur to me, such as: We don’t need any more new kinds of hamburgers. All we want is a good old regular hamburger.

The secret is to learn more than you forget

I enrolled in a driver’s improvement class recently. I should enroll in an improvement class covering everything I do, but the driver’s class was the only one with an opening. Besides being reminded of common sense things such as, don’t veer for deer, I learned a lot in the class. I’ll remember some of it. Here are a few of things. 

The black lettering on a white, rectangular sign shows the maximum speed that a motorist may travel under ideal conditions. Black lettering on a yellow sign advises motorists of a comfortable speed to navigate certain situations. It’s a warning sign. Black and white signs are used for regulation, black and yellow for warnings.

  The instructor told us that tires made after 2000 have four-digit DOT codes. The first two numbers represent the week in which the tire was made. The second pair represents the year. A tire with a DOT code of 1609 was produced in the 16th week of 2009. An unused tire isn’t always new.

  How often is it necessary to pass the vehicle ahead of you? Give that proper consideration and you’ll find that the answer is, “Very seldom.”

  At the end of a lovely day of learning, I thought of something that Dudley Moore had said, “The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”

That nutria could use a good teeth cleaning

I was in a small jon boat floating in the twisting, sluggish, swampy waters of the bayous of southern Louisiana. It was peaceful and quiet. Birds perched and alligators remained motionless. An airboat, a flat-bottomed vessel propelled by an aircraft-type propeller powered by a loud engine destroyed the silence. Airboats are used for fishing, hunting, and ecotourism. The shotgun blasts told me that this airboat carried nutria hunters.

A nutria is an herbivorous, non-native invasive species brought from South America in 1899 for the fur trade. As with many similar moneymaking schemes, it proved unsuccessful when the nutrias escaped in floods and hurricanes or were turned loose when the market for nutria pelts failed to materialize.

An adult nutria averages about 12 pounds, has a brown head and body similar to a beaver, a foot-long naked tail like a rat and orange teeth. Nutria dens and appetites weaken roads, dams and ditches. Nutrias consume up to 25 percent of their body weight each day. They can eat a marsh down to the mud. The denuded tunnels of open water have little value as wildlife habitat. Nutrias have few predators other than alligators, coyotes, foxes and some hawks. The state pays $5 for each nutria tail turned in by hunters and trappers. There are no closed seasons or bag limits.

  Some chefs prepare nutria meat for human consumption. They follow the motto of cooks everywhere, “How bad could it be?” I’m not sure what all I ate while working in Louisiana, but the residents there seem willing to eat anything. Nutria has been touted as food for humans. The late, famous New Orleans chef, Paul Prudhomme served nutria sausage and fried nutria. Nutria has found its way into jambalaya and gumbo. I didn’t eat nutria while I was in the Pelican State. At least, not intentionally.

Nature notes

  The man stopped by while I was ringing bells for the Salvation Army to tell me that he’d seen a big owl in his yard one night and a bald eagle there the next day. Big birds.

I told him that he should stop feeding venison and go back to putting sunflower seeds in his feeders.

  The University of Minnesota’s Raptor Center describes a raptor as a carnivorous bird and adds that all raptors share at least three main characteristics: Keen eyesight, eight sharp talons and a hooked beak. I watched a hawk circling overhead. It was a handsome red-tailed hawk. Its seemingly effortless looping mesmerized me. For a moment I wished I were that hawk. Then I realized that I’d get dizzy while searching for a rat to eat.

Meeting adjourned

  Forget the faults of others. Remember their kindnesses. Merry Christmas.