We’re deep into the bowling season at Echo Lanes, and The Geek Squad is narrowly holding back the Stud Muffins and DAP for the lead of the Service Club League. They bowl Monday nights.

You can make a case for this league having the best team names: Alley Katz, Score Gasims, Odd Balls, The Three New (That’s my team, and yes, it’s a lame name. The team member who came up with it has actually gone missing.), Hangin 10’s, Over the Hill Gang (they kicked my tail), What Ever, Hoof Hearted, 9 Pin Mafia and Do Not Split.

But then, there is the senior women’s league that rolls on Thursdays. The top team at the moment is the Happy Hookers. (For the uninitiated, competitive bowlers try to throw curve balls to hit the pins from the side — hooks. Behave yourself.) They are followed by Kathy’s Devils (OK, I have nothing to say about them).

The rest of the league’s teams are: the Larks, Rollers, Alta’s Angels, Goofy 4, and the Rolling Pins.

Meanwhile in the Happy Hour League, Windrift Lounge is leads, followed by ALR Trucking and Echo Lanes. This women’s league bowls Tuesday night. Seeing as how these teams are only listed by the sponsors names, I researched websites and Facebook pages and offer these names to spice up the league:

• Windrift Lounge Sizzling Sirloins with a side of potatoes,

• ALR Trucking Frogs (Think Sally Field, 1977)

• Echo Lanes Kansas Express (This is a big anniversary year for a big tornado.)

• Lyle Liquor Neon Arrows (Sign says …)

• Berg’s Nursery Knights that say Nee. (You have to watch “Monty Python’s Holy Grail” to get this)

• Dave’s Plumbing Boiling Pipers

• Overby Orthodontics Jaws

• Kenny’s Oak Grill Elvi

• Young Trucklines Cats in Charge (It’s a Facebook thing)

No need to thank me. Really.

 

This is a bit concerning. In the recently released County Health Rankings and Roadmaps report, Mower County ranks near the bottom, 76 out of 87, when it comes to health factors. This ranking is based on health behaviors, clinical care, social and economic factors and the physical environment. When it comes to health outcomes — a measure of length and quality of life, Mower County is 53rd. More to come on this.
A race in Texas is trying to recruit 100 more runners or hikers, and a former assistant cross country coach for the Albert Lea Tigers cross country team is hoping to get some from up here. Bryce Gaudian of Hayward, Minn., writes that he is the race director of the inaugural Headwaters of the Frio Marathon/Half Marathon that will take place April 7 at the Big Springs Ranch for Children in Leakey, Texas.

“It is an extraordinary honor to have been chosen to be the Race Director for this epic event at this epicenter of compassion which restores the lives of inconceivably abused, abandoned, and severely traumatized children,” Gaudian wrote.

According to his news release, Gaudian hiked 80 miles across the ranch during six days in April 2017, planning and charting what he believes is “one of the most unique and stunningly beautiful marathon and half-marathon courses imaginable.”

If you are interested, check out https://headwaters.greatfeats.com

April, by the way, is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

 

It’s the Super Bowl. I will call it the Super Bowl.

In a casual conversation, an acquaintance was griping about how the term Super Bowl is copyrighted and can’t be used. Yeah, he’s right, to a point. That has to do with marketing. I understand that, but I also metaphorically slap my forehead every time I get a press release from some group doing something in coordination with the Super Bowl.

For example, Thrivent Financial — I think of it as a Lutheran version of the Knights of Columbus insurance operation — is partnering with the nonprofit Hats & Mittens to collect or raise money for 52,000 hats and mittens to help kids stay warm this winter. It sent out a news release about a special drop-off event in Minneapolis on the day of the Super Bowl. The release starts with “In anticipation of the 52nd Big Game…”

I want to trademark my name so when I break the NFL’s rule, it will have to pay me a royalty when it puts my name on the letter threatening me to stop. (I’m sure it doesn’t work like that, but a guy can dream.)

They came from cyberspace

Readers on our Facebook page like to talk about retail, and with the announcement of Furniture USA buying the old Target came this observation by Kelsey Hilgers: “This company also owns home renovation stores that sell cabinets and flooring … So I’d be surprised if they put in a furniture store when there are already two in town.”

Micayla Huntley replied: “I would love to have (a) store to get cabinets and flooring from!”

A new store is always exciting, but in the meantime, I’d like to shamelessly plug some of our advertisers. Check out the services of these Austin businesses: Mountain Oaks Cabinetry (507-396-4987) and Thoroughbred Carpets and Flooring of Austin (507-246-3511).

Bad joke of the week

Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?

A: Because they make up everything!
Contact Managing Editor Christopher Baldus at chris.baldus@austindailyherald.com