Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

My brother-in-law took an early buyout from his job with a hot dog company. Now he lives in a year-round tent in northern Minnesota, not far from the Canadian border. He survives on a lifetime supply of hot dogs he received as part of that buyout.

Does he complain about living in a tent during the winter?

Only that his buns get cold.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor, named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me, such as: I was on the road again. I was singing along with a song on the radio when the artist got the words wrong. I hate it when that happens. I was passed by a Lincoln Navigator with a cartoon decal of Calvin (of “Calvin and Hobbes” fame) relieving himself on its rear window. Bill Watterson, the creator of that wonderful comic strip, was vehemently opposed to licensing his creation for merchandising. Watterson wanted to punish the copyright violators, but the costs of doing so proved excessive. The original perpetrators of this decal are unknown. Seeing that decal on the back of a luxurious Lincoln seemed incongruous to me as a bridesmaid holding a plunger instead of flowers would be.

  There was so much rain. Flash floods, lost crops, washed out roads and crying stone statues. I drove past a senior citizen center. There were so many old Buicks parked in front of the place that it made me wonder if Buick still made new cars. When I was a lad, only rich people and doctors drove Buicks. Now, even knuckleheads like me could drive one.

The center was located in a sleepy little town where I could imagine the phone ringing at the fire hall.

“Are you awfully busy today?” asked the caller.

“No, Wally, what can I do for you?” replied a volunteer fireman.

“Well, my house is on fire.”

Butterfly kisses

I was in the Butterfly Wing of Reiman Gardens in Ames, Iowa. It’s a glorious place. A blue morpho, a simmering blue butterfly, landed on me. That brought me great joy and I hoped it brought good luck. I wanted to laugh, but I feared I’d swallow a butterfly. I preferred having a waffle for lunch instead. I was about to leave the Butterfly Wing and hunt down a waffle when a smaller butterfly landed on my chin. Its feet tickled a bit and its proboscis found the moisture on my teeth inviting. To this butterfly, I was nothing more than a large and dorky flower. An employee of Reiman Gardens took photos of my butterflied chin. I sat down to ease her task. It wasn’t long before a line of kids and parents happened along. Many had selfies taken with the butterfly and my chin. Others took some of those rare photos that weren’t selfies. It takes all kinds. One of the kids asked me, “Are you somebody?”

I was. I was somebody with a butterfly on his chin.

Nature notes

It was hot, but not as hot as it could have been. I decided to examine some belly flowers. A belly flower is a small one that requires me to get down on my belly in order to truly appreciate its loveliness. The belly flowers enchanted me. Nature provides beauty on so many levels.

It also provides chigger bites. Chiggers are the larval stage of mites. Chigger bites characteristically cause intense itching and small, reddish welts. Chiggers crawl onto vegetation and attach themselves to passing mammals or people. They wander over the skin surface before attaching at a skin pore or hair follicle. The attachment sites on people are usually places where the clothing fits tightly over the skin or where the skin is thin or wrinkled. Contrary to popular belief, chiggers don’t burrow into the skin nor do they feed on blood. Chiggers inject a digestive fluid that cause skin cells to rupture. The fluids from the skin cells are consumed as food. The injected enzymes cause the skin to become red, swollen and itchy. The itch may last for several days and persists after the chigger has detached from the skin. Taking a hot, soapy shower or bath immediately after returning from possible chigger-infested areas is a good idea. Most home remedies are ineffective. The widespread myth that using fingernail polish kills the embedded chigger is misguided, as there is no embedded chigger. Better relief comes from products that seal the skin and contain antihistamines.

Meeting adjourned

“The measure of a country’s greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis.“ -Thurgood Marshall, US Supreme Court Justice