Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

The neighbor had three wind turbines, but he had one taken down.

Why? Was it broken beyond repair?

No, there was only enough wind for two of them.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me, such as: The rats used to fight with the cockroaches in the hotel I stayed in regularly. The lodging had that musty smell of age. Each time I went into the hotel, I expected to hear Bette Davis saying as she did in the movie, “Beyond the Forest”: “What a dump.”

Why do I stay there? It’s a handy location and reasonably priced. The hotel got a new owner who spruced it up and evicted the rats and cockroaches. I was worried, but they have let me stay — so far. Once in my room, with no vermin to watch, I decided to do something even better. I’d grown accustomed to ignoring political ads and I’m expanding my good work into paying no attention to drug commercials. Pharmaceutical companies spend more on marketing than on research. That’s wrong. I trust a doctor or a pharmacist to know more about the drugs than someone who writes advertisements.

Why I got a pneumonia shot

In an attempt to reign in her rambunctious grandchildren, Grandma read the newspaper obituaries aloud. This was back in the days when, at least in obituary columns, people died in alphabetical order. It seemed to me that everyone died from natural causes. One of Grandma’s neighbors had shuffled off this mortal coil. I asked what he’d died from. “Old man’s disease,” said Grandma. My father told me that was pneumonia.

Seminars are for learning and networking

  There was a lull during a long seminar. The man seated behind me, wearing a slick business suit, cracked his knuckles loud enough to crack plaster.

The fellow seated ahead of me wore an Orvis shirt. I knew because there was a small billboard carrying the Orvis name on the back of the shirt. It was likely a deliberate understatement. Small, yet demanding attention. More bang with less label. A company name on clothing is a method of social networking and evidence of tribal allegiance. He was from Alabama and loved Orvis, a family-owned retail and mail-order business specializing in high-end fly fishing, hunting and sporting goods. Founded in Manchester, Vermont, in 1856, it’s the oldest mail-order retailer in the country.

The man wearing the Orvis shirt told me he was a worm grunter. His worm-harvesting technique is to plunge a wooden stake into the ground and rub it with a metal rod. The vibrations drive earthworms from the soil. A fishing bait bonanza.

Not only did I meet a worm grunter at the meeting, I had someone tell me that they had never been to a McDonald’s restaurant. “Ever?” I asked. This was like discovering a Bigfoot, albeit one with tiny feet.

“Not once,” she answered.

“Do you have grandchildren?” I asked.

“No.”

I knew it.

Your Alaskan correspondent reports

There is an area in Haines, Alaska, called the Dog Park. I don’t believe it’s an official dog park nor is that its official name, but it’s where many people take their dogs for strolls. The dog owners don’t pick up after their pooches. What’s the use? Bears go there, too.

I heard someone say, “Only in Alaska.” A similar expression is found in every state. “Only in Iowa.” “Only in Minnesota.”

Nature notes

“Where did all the starlings in my yard come from?” Eggs. Their numbers are high now because the young of this year are part of the flocks. Starlings are nomadic Now, so they could show up anywhere, including your yard.

“How did buckthorn get its name?” Common buckthorn got its name from the fact that when buds are opposite they resemble a deer hoof.

“How do birds chew food when they don’t have teeth?” By manipulating their food with their tongues, birds are able to crack seeds into manageable pieces with their bills. A bird swallows food and stores it in its crop (a sac at the bottom of the esophagus). It can also soften hard food with mucus. Food goes into the glandular stomach, a tube-like area that produces a large amount of digestive juices. The food then passes through the gizzard, where it’s ground up. Grain-eating birds sometimes swallow small stones, shells and sand to aid in breaking apart hard seeds. These grinding stones in the gizzard wear down eventually and pass through the bird’s system.

Meeting adjourned

Each day is a bonus. Be kind.