I know you’ve all been waiting with bated breath as to the state of the Garden Experiment: Part 2.

Which is disappointing that so many of you enjoy watching a man struggle. Well fine, I’ll play into your demands, oh reader who doth like to see me toil. I shall give you thy entertainment.

Besides, I won’t be writing about it again for quite some time because of the fact that not much will happen from now until I start plucking sweet produce from my backyard.

For the fluffy-tailed enemy known as squirrels dig up every last thing they put in the garden in the first place.

Essentially, I’m planted. Garden Experiment: Part 2 got an extension in space and everything was planted last weekend. This also included the addition of a dragon statue and flowers to the front that Janeen planned out, which turned out incredibly striking. I can’t wait for later this spring and into the summer when the flowers fully take hold. It looks especially nice next to the extra abundance of raspberries coming up that have very conveniently arranged themselves into a nifty set of vines and rows, which I know, will not be the case later in the season, but right now it’s looking pretty good.

Really, on the surface, the arrangement and planting of this year’s experiment went off with little in the way of drama, which I know is not what you want to hear.

Ya sharks.

I can see your brows furrow and the disappointment spread across your features. You’re wondering: “When will the simple thing go wrong?” or “Is he seriously going to get through this without hoeing his toes off?”

Well, yes I did get through this without hoeing my toes off … sadists.

Well, let me take you through it and we’ll get to that point. You know me entirely too well and are right. Something ineveitably went wrong.

Honestly, the planting went off without a hitch and so I plowed through Sunday afternoon, blissfully camped out in the planting of my vegetables. Believe it or not, I learned an awful lot from last year. The tomatoes got their own space in the extension and they are well away from the cucumbers. These two bad actors played a large impact in last season’s mess. Along that same avenue, I cut down on the number of tomato plants just to ensure a little more that I avoid last year’s fiasco.

Everything else — radishes, carrots, beets, beans, peppers — went in just as easily. We even added jalapenos this year, just because I had the space to do so and I could stand to have a little spice in my life.

Everything went so well and so on task that I had extra space in my plan and so I added an extra row of beans.

Right here, I really should have realized that something was wrong. Just in general, very few of my plans go so well as to allow for any extra amount of good stuff.

But I was happy. The sun was out, my hands were caked with dirt and I was feeling that kind of exhaustion that warranted a beer, a deep satisfied sigh and smarmy smile to the commercial camera. “Ah, now that’s an afternoon.”

Ugg, that’s why I don’t write commercials.

Still, there was no reason to feel anything but extremely content. Until that is, while taking a drink of my frosty brew, that I glanced at the counter and saw why I had so much room.

There, sitting on the counter, were the beans. I had forgotten to plant the BEAANNNNSSS!

If you remember, the beans were one of the prime reasons for my struggles last year. I mistakenly purchased vine beans, rather than bush beans, and those vines quickly gained the upper hand, outsmarting me at every turn.

I used sticks to try and keep them under control for the love of all that is holy.

STICKS!

The vines spread and came into conflict with the tomatoes and ultimately the cucumbers.

And once again beans came into unlucky play. It’s probably not so dramatic as all that. I simply forgot to plant them, but seriously, are beans always going to be the thing that sticks in my side?

Sorry beets, but that extra row had to go. But hey, at least they are bush beans this time.

Of course now I’m going to have to struggle with squirrels and rabbits. I’m still finding peanuts buried in the garden and the other day a squirrel we caught digging in the garden just stared at us both, daring me to do something about it.

Squirrels are jerks, but what this really means is a fence I have to put up, which was a whole different struggle last year.

At any rate, stay tuned for further updates. This garden thing has really been something fun to play in and as I keep doing it, it just becomes more of an adventure.

Just wait until I add watermelons!