Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

My wife went shoe shopping.

So?

Why? She already owns a pair of shoes.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me, such as: I don’t have a tattoo. Many people I know have them — family members included, but I lack the desire to acquire one. I have some “kinda” tattoos — evidence of accidents, stupidity and medical procedures. A woman told me her religion forbids tattoos because we’re supposed to be satisfied with the bodies we’re given. Maybe we’re supposed to be, but we try to gild the lily. Gym memberships, earrings, plastic surgeries, etc. Where is the line drawn? What tattoo could you live with, your religion permitting? I’m thinking my tattoo would be: “Please recycle,” “Here I am,” or “It could be worse.”

A traveling man

I was clueless, but ambitious. When I wanted to be a Boy Scout, my motto was to always be prepared to be a Boy Scout. I got a merit badge in wanting to be a Boy Scout. It didn’t work out. It was a considerable drive to the meetings and they would interfere with farm chores. The Rolling Stones were right, “You can’t always get what you want.”

I thought of that when my flight had been canceled. Then my replacement flight was likewise canceled. I spent the night in an airport. I didn’t want to, but how many people get to spend a night in such an impressive structure?

Thoughts while trying not to think about pencil sharpeners

If you want to buy time, pay for a repair job by the hour.

If you’re having lunch with someone who is finding it difficult to stick to a diet, tell them in great detail about your colonoscopy.

Enlightenment is knowing where the light switches are.

Customer comments

James Ebeling of Owatonna is a lifelong farmer. When he was a boy, his family milked cows. His brother was 10 years older than James and when the older brother finished high school, the new graduate’s hours changed. He didn’t often make it to the barn for the morning’s milking. James said this of his brother, “He went out a lot, but he didn’t get up much.”

Marian Bahl of Faribault wrote, “On memory issues. Everyone has them, I’m sure. I liken it to a percolator. All my life, I have been pouring in important stuff (like the coffee grounds) and not-so-important stuff (the water). In went names, addresses, birthdates, names, phone numbers, events, email info, names, recipes, anniversaries …and did I mention names?  Later in life, when you try to recover those things, it’s like waiting for it to come percolating to the top. (Insert the bubbling sound from that old coffee commercial – bloop a bloop a bloop bloop.) If you are patient and wait long enough, eventually it will come perking up and – voila – you remember!”

Ask Al

“What do you do in your hometown for excitement?” We don’t get that excited.

“How can I become more patient?” Wait for it.

“What has life taught you?” That I don’t know very much.

In local news

The nonprofit was going to put up one of those giant fundraising thermometers, but didn’t have the money to build one.

Mushroom merchant loses his vendor’s license due to loose morels.

Tailor Swift opens rapid clothing alterations shop.

Nature notes

I watched an eastern kingbird, Tyrannus tyrannus, attack crows. The kingbird was outnumbered five to one, but it chased the crows away. There was no subtlety to its attack. It was tenacious.

A hummingbird’s brain makes up 4.2% of its weight, the largest of any bird proportionately. Our brains are 2% of our weight and half of them are filled with cat videos.

I saw a black and yellow, cicada killer wasp. Cicada killer females can be about 2 inches long, males about half that. The males have no stingers. The females can sting, but aren’t inclined to do so. Females sting cicadas with a paralyzing toxin and carry them to burrows in sandy or loose soils. They lay one egg on a cicada in a nest chamber. A second or third cicada is often added, because female larvae are larger than males and require more food. The chamber is sealed and the egg hatches. The larva consumes the cicadas before spinning a cocoon and overwintering underground. It emerges as an adult in July or August and lives two to six weeks.

Meeting adjourned

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate.”

– Albert Schweitzer