When it comes to Christmas, some might define me as a bit of an Ebenezer Scrooge. No, I don’t mean I’m a wealthy, poor-hating, penny-pinching miser, nor do I mean that I hate Christmas. I like it; it just takes me a while to get into the season.

This started in 2003, during my college years, when I worked at the Mall of Georgia. The mall management opted to play Christmas music starting Nov. 1, so by the time Thanksgiving came around, I was already completely sick of Christmas. Since then, it has taken time for me to get past the rampant commercialism that has unfortunately become synonymous with Christmas to really get into the spirit.

My wife, on the other hand, loves Christmas. She likes to watch the Hallmark Channel movies, such as that original story of the woman who finds love at Christmas after realizing her true love was there the whole time, followed by those other original movies about women who find love at Christmas after realizing their true loves were there the whole time. She enjoys Black Friday shopping and has even gotten me to the point where I am willing to put up the Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving.

We got married two days after Thanksgiving, so our anniversary always falls around a time when Sirius XM offers free trials due to holiday travel. This year was no different, so when we went to the Cities for our anniversary, we listened to a Christmas music channel on the drive up and back.

And that’s when I began to realize that several popular “Christmas” songs one hears around this time of year are not actually Christmas songs.

For starters, there are some that are questionable, such as “Last Christmas” by Wham! In it, George Michael and the other guy from Wham! that nobody remembers sing about giving their hearts to someone, who in turn gave it away. They then vow that they will not be so foolhardy this year, opting to “give it to someone special.” This really could be a song for any time of year; it just happens that the incident occurred “last Christmas.”

But then there are those which I contend are NOT Christmas songs:

• “Sleigh Ride”/”Winter Wonderland”/”Jingle Bells”/”Let it Snow” – I can already hear the collective gasps uttered by readers at this claim. I can also hear a few of you appealing to an omnipotent deity to condemn my soul to the netherworld for eternity.

That’s not very nice.

And while these songs have become synonymous with Christmas, I can tell you that they have nothing to do with it.

“Oh, but they do!” you say. Really? Where, pray tell, in the lyrics is Christmas mentioned? Go ahead and look. I’ll wait.

As you can plainly see, Christmas is never mentioned. The songs are about enjoying sleigh rides through snow or walking through snow, but we in Minnesota know that this could apply to anytime between October and April. And I fail to see what is “Christmas-y” about pretending a snowman is Parson Brown/a circus clown.

• “Frosty the Snowman” – I know what you’re thinking: “But Mike, the ‘Frosty the Snowman’ cartoon features Santa Claus and a town decorated for Christmas!”

Sure, the cartoon does, but the song doesn’t. At no point does the song say the children built Frosty at Christmas time, nor does it specify how exactly they acquired said magic hat that brought him to life. Come to think of it, a hat that brings life to individuals made of crystallized vapor must surely be a tool of black magic. Sorcery, I tell you!

• “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” – Again, no mention of Christmas. And while I know it was written in 1944 during what some would call a more wholesome time, the lyrics seem rather predatory by today’s standards. Not only is the male singer trying to get the woman to stay at his place because “it’s cold outside,” there is the line of “Oh baby don’t hold out.” She also sings the red flag raising line, “Say what’s in this drink?” Sure, that may have been perfectly innocent when it was performed in “Neptune’s Daughter” (note: not a Christmas movie) by Esther Williams and Ricardo Montalbán (though why you would trust Khan Noonien Singh is beyond me), but today, a questionable drink might indicate the presence of flunitrazepam.

• “Jingle Bell Rock” – I have no idea what this song is actually about, but the singer is clearly not rocking around the Christmas tree, which would have made it relevant to Christmas.

• “My Favorite Things” – While some of you may disagree with the previous selections, I think we can all agree that this one is not a Christmas song. Yet, it is frequently played at this time of year and I can’t help but ask why. Why is a song sung by Julie Andrews while trying to comfort Austrian children during a bad storm associated with Christmas? For that matter, how did “The Sound of Music” get associated with Christmas (it always seems to be on T.V. on Christmas Eve)? How, in fact, does one solve a problem like Maria?

• “All I Want for Christmas is You” – Okay, yes this one is a Christmas song, but I never pass up an opportunity to tell people how much I hate it. A lot.

Then there are those Christmas songs that just should not be, such as Twisted Sister’s rendition of “Oh Come All Ye Faithful,” which is essentially “We’re Not Gonna Take It” with different lyrics. But that’s another column.