The Wide Angle: Boxing with Fate … a better right hand than Mike Tyson

Published 5:29 pm Tuesday, August 27, 2024

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To those of you (counting … ) 35 readers reading this week’s column that are most likely to respond to negative situations with, “there’s a light at the end of the tunnel,” may need to understand that sometimes that light is a train.

This is a story of Fate straight up punching me in the face and then giggling about it.

For the last six years or so I have steadily and diligently paid my car off — a 2017 Ford Escape. It’s been a process and in the last year I’ve been paying extra in order to get it out of my hair early.

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It’s been my version of Rocky running up a hill in Russia as he trains to fight communism against the most stereotypical Russian ever.

Man, I  love 80s movies. I should write on that sometime.

Anyway, earlier this month, I was able to do that in part because on paper it appeared the perfect month to do so. The final pay-off amount was about $100 over the money I’ve been paying up until this point. It was a three-paycheck month, which meant that the way things fell, I received three paychecks in the month of August.

Now, I’m not one to subscribe to the idea that everything happens for a reason, which is perhaps why Fate’s haymaker is about to land its next big punch.

On Aug. 4, I wrote the final check and sent it in the mail. A couple weeks later the money went through and I was left to celebrate a milestone that still feels pretty good when you are at 5-0 years.

By the way, saying it that is much better than just saying 50.

Fresh off the idea that I would have an extra chunk of money at my disposal I started to buy some stuff I’ve been meaning to get for awhile. Nothing extravagant. No big stereo, no video game system, no new shiny piece of homebrewing equipment. Boring adult stuff, like clothes and things for the house.

The only other big thing we had to pay was an extra payment into our escrow account for the house.

No big deal. Also, famous last words.

Money sent off, bills paid, sudden and new sound coming from my car.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. Mostly, I chalked it up to age and that it wasn’t going to sound like a purring kitten forever.

Rather it now sounded akin to Nemi’s snoring and was continuous. The sound got a little more advanced and I started to worry about it a little more. That and I now noticed from time to time water under the vehicle when it was parked.

With a heavy sigh and a grumble of irritation — knowing we were going to go to the Renaissance Festival at some point — I took it in thinking it was something that could be fixed fairly quickly. After all, it only has over 66,000 miles on it. Pretty good for being as old as it is. Also, maybe a hint to how boring I actually am.

Up until this point, Fate was largely distributing body blows to my midsection and I was taking them with nothing but a grunt.

Then I got the call. I failed to get a block up for the right hook that was incoming. Turns out, it wasn’t something simple. It is two very complicated things. Of course it’s auto mechanics so everything is complicated.

Water pump AND timing belt. All at once and you know why wouldn’t it be that way? I did celebrate a bit much when my final payment went through, thinking I was in the clear to start building back up some finances and bolster things a little bit.

Instead, the news rocked me to my knees — especially given the estimate as to how much the whole thing is going to cost. I’ll give you a hint. It hurts without having to actually pay for it yet. It’s an owie type of payment — only with a lot more colorful language.

If I was better looking, I might try organizing an incredibly good-looking three-casino heist with an epic soundtrack.

Instead, the referee is counting over me while Fate jumps up and down like a lunatic.

Unfortunately, not only is the price tag bad. It’s worse and so cue more expletives.

The only thing left is trying to remember how I survived when I first started out in the business and had no money, which is a major bummer.

I really don’t want to go back to eating ramen noodles again.