Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

My wife compares me to Brad Pitt.

Really?

Yeah, she says I look nothing like Brad Pitt.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I have Minnesota between my toes, and I know Minnesota goodbyes can take forever. I have many relatives in Iowa. Iowa goodbyes can take forever. Before I find the gumption to get up and go, I must first tell everyone I love them and try to be adorable. I work my way to the door, grab the doorknob and spend an hour with my hand on that doorknob, telling others I have to go. I eventually make it out the door, where I talk to others who had accomplished the same remarkable feat. Several people walk me to my car. No matter what time I leave, I get to the car at the same time. I say goodbye again by my vehicle while its “door is ajar” warning chimes loudly. After running that loving gauntlet, I roll down my car’s window and give a wave as I drive off. A goodbye isn’t supposed to be easy.

Things I didn’t

know I needed to know

I hear from people doing research and surveys. Here are some. Wyoming, Utah and Minnesota are the most charitable states for 2024. Iowa is 14th: https://wallethub.com/edu/most-and-least-charitable-states/8555

WalletHub compared the states across 30 key indicators of happiness. The data included the depression rate, the share of adults feeling productive, income growth and the unemployment rate. The study identified the happiest states as: 1. Hawaii  2. Maryland 3. New Jersey.  4.  Utah.  5.  Delaware  6. Minnesota  19. Iowa  21. Wisconsin: https://wallethub.com/edu/happiest-states/6959

The most distressed states based on credit scores and bankruptcies are  1. Texas  2. Louisiana  3. Nevada  4. Kentucky 5. Florida  28. Iowa  31. Minnesota  43. North Dakota: https://wallethub.com/edu/states-with-the-most-people-in-financial-distress/130790

The states with the most tight-knit communities are: 1. Minnesota  2. Utah  3. Wyoming  4. North Dakota 5. South Dakota  15. Iowa  50. Louisiana: https://smilehub.org/blog/states-with-the-most-tight-knit-communities/213

Rottweilers are the most feared dog breed among Minnesota delivery drivers. Pit Bull Terriers and German Shepherds are the 2nd and 3rd most feared. Iowa delivery drivers are most fearful of German Shepherds: https://www.bestattorney.com/dreading-deliveries/#top

The personal injury law firm John Foy & Associates analyzed data based on road fatalities, road conditions, highway spending per mile, and highway spending per capita to determine which states have the best roads. The best roads are in: 1. Minnesota  2. Delaware  3.  Utah      4. Indiana      5. New Jersey  17. Iowa. New Mexico, Louisiana and Mississippi had the worst roads: https://www.johnfoy.com/research/which-states-have-the-best-and-worst-roads-in-america/

Based on holiday spending, community traditions and digital trends. Utah has the most Christmas spirit, followed by New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. Minnesota was 30th, Iowa 39th and Mississippi 50th: https://wegodating.com/christmas-spirit-states/

Bad jokes department

Most of the words in the dictionary aren’t spelled “correctly.”

What’s the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can’t bird.

My pen writes underwater. It writes other words, too.

Nature notes

Wild turkeys run at speeds up to 25 mph and fly up to 55 mph. A wild turkey hen in our yard chases pheasant roosters and flies high into trees to harass crows. The crows relished the company. Once those tasks are completed, it’s as if someone flipped a switch, and the turkey gets the zoomies, frenetic random activity periods (FRAPs) or frenetic activity periods (FAPs), a delightful and common behavior exhibited by dogs and cats when they sprint around the yard or house at full speed.

Red-tailed hawks hunt from perches and from the air. As they circle and soar, they can spot a mouse from 100 feet high.

Airports often host snowy owls in winter because these handsome owls are accustomed to the Arctic tundra, so they prefer open, flat areas, which make it easier to spot prey. An airport is a different kind of tundra. It’s a busy and noisy tundra with bright lights, but it’s still tundra to the owls.

From the mailbag

Mark Monlux of Tacoma wrote, “When I put them away for the season, I leave a dollar in my coats. That way, the future me would get a surprise and be pleased to know that the past me was thinking of him.”

Meeting adjourned

“Kind words, kind looks, kind acts, and warm handshakes—these are means of grace when men in trouble are fighting their unseen battles.”— John Hall.