Apex Austin released a survey last week with findings that for most immigrants in Austin, the biggest problem is having a language barrier.

The immigrants want to learn English, but because adult immigrants are working long hours they have no time to learn English. This lack of not knowing the language of the place that one is residing in and trying to conduct business or do legal work is extremely frustrating for both parties. I have lived in several places where I didn't know the primary language I have held jobs where I didn't speak the same language as my employer. I remember feeling alienated, stupid and lonely. It is not a fun situation to be in.

My sister-in-law Mamik is from Indonesia and she speaks Javanese, Arabic and English. Her English is not always clear for me to understand. She is a driven person and was a public health nurse in Java. Mamik also was a champion speed walker and pingpong player in Java. She now works as a cook in a bar in Minneapolis. When Mamik came to Minnesota in 1995 she and my brother. Steve lived with my mom on the family farm near Albert Lea.

Mamik had met Steve in Washington, D.C., when he was writing affidavits at a law firm. Steve helped do the legal work to extend her visa to stay in the States. They fell in love and were married in Minnesota.

It was a clashing of cultures when Mamik and my mom shared a kitchen together. Mamik wanted to cook dinner for her husband every night. Mom seldom let my sisters and I cook in her kitchen so she wasn't about to share it with her daughter-in-law. In Mamik's culture the daughter-in-law usually took over the cooking for the elder woman in the house, but mom was queen in her kitchen. Mom liked waiting on whatever son was around and she didn't want to give up cooking. Mom liked to bake fresh bread and cookies several times a week. When mom cooked a meal it invariable meant preparing meat and

potatoes. Mamik was used to eating rice or noodles with a meal. This is

where the biggest culture clash came with mom cooking potatoes for supper, and Mamik cooking rice. Mamik had a hard time eating a large mound of mashed potatoes day after day. Mom didn't like to see her good pans soaking to remove rice stuck to the bottom when the dishes were cleared away for night.

Besides their differences in rice versus potatoes, Mamik liked to eat the parts of the chickens that mom would usually toss out. Mamik liked to eat boiled chicken heads, intestines cooked in hot pepper and oil and chicken feet soup. I will never forget the day mom opened her new Tupperware container and screamed when she found it filled with boiled chicken heads.

Mamik got so she didn't dare to eat her chicken heads or feet in front of mom but would go out to the garage and sit in the car and eat them.

Mom wasn't tolerant of Mamik but Mamik never said a word against mom. She knew that mom was never going to fully share her kitchen and that mom was not going to adjust to her customs. Mom complained to me every day about Mamik's "strange ways." Steve and Mamik lived with mom for eight months and then moved to Minneapolis where they now live. They have two children Siobhan and Bob. Their daughter Siobhan's favorite food is mashed potato.

After eight years of living in Minnesota, Mamik has even taken a liking to mashed potatoes. On March 5 of this month, she was sworn in as an American citizen. When I congratulated her on her accomplishment she said, "You betcha baby, now I am a real Yank."

Sheila Donnelly can be reached at 434-2233 or by e-mail at :mailto:newsroom@austindailyherald.com