I'm here to set the record straight.

Valentine's Day isn't all about chocolate, flowers and visions of horse-drawn carriages. Or a love-hungry couple, frolicking though an open field of daisies.

Puh-leaze.

Really, Valentine's Day is a good holiday. It's just there's been too much schmoopiness and schmaltz over the years.

Does anyone think about all of those single and heartbroken souls out there? Not that I'm one of them. However, I like to think of myself as their spokesman. A voice for the little people, who have endured much ridicule and shame over the years on just this one day.

I say enough!

Of course, some people decide to take it too far. For instance, there's a bar in Chicago that's throwing a party tonight. Bring a picture of your ex, and you get in for free. Then, you get to set fire to him or her later, along with the other vengeful souls in attendance.

If that's not enough, you get to enjoy thinking about your ex during a pig roast.

I'd like to think subtlety would be on the minds of others. Most of the people who don't have a reason to celebrate Valentine's Day don't want to get even. They just want to get in some small jabs, that's all.

Like those anti-candy hearts. I've heard of them, but don't know what messages they contain.

I have a few ideas.

Get lost.

Scram.

Beat it.

So, how do the lonely truly endure this one day of misery?

Denial works. Sometimes.

"Hey Jeff, whaddya doing tonight? Huh? Whaddya mean it's Valentine's Day? It's Friday night! Where's your priorities, man? She'll do what if you try to get out of this? Aw, c'mon. Frying pans can't hurt that bad."

Or you could be that guy, trying to con your way out of a night home with her, having to endure the torture that is "Sweet Home Alabama."

"Gee honey. You know, I had plans. What? Oh, c'mon. I know it's Valentine's Day. But hon, it's Friday night. You know it's my night out with the guys. And besides, you know I don't need one day a year to be reminded about love. I love you 365, baby."

Of course, you could also be the girl on the other end, the day after.

"I still can't believe he did that! He came up and said "I didn't get you flowers because they'll only die." Instead, he gave me a 3×5 notecard that said "I wanted to put it in writing that I'll always love you."

The point is, Valentine's Day seems to cause much more heartache than heartwarming togetherness.

So tonight, break the chains. Be yourself and don't worry what others think.

It's only love.

Dan Fields can be reached at 434-2230 or by e-mail at :mailto:dan.fields@austindailyherald.com