At least Jose will be home this Christmas.

He hasn't always been there, when he was in prison.

His wife, Gloria, remains worried. The oldest of her children, a 15-year-old teenager, is still rebelling and doesn't go to school. She thinks it has something to do with his father's absences from home.

Her 12-year-old and 7-year-old are, well, just "all right." They have their problems, too. The 4-year-old remains with his grandmother in Texas. Gloria's mother and the boy's father do not get along.

Gloria, has her things to worry about.

For instance, she lost her job and with the economy being what it is, prospects are poor for her to find another.

The car works only so-so. She drives Jose to the community college to enroll in courses to help him try to return to work, despite his prison record.

Gloria doesn't know what she will do if the cops ever spot the vehicle. The license tabs are expired.

Jose and Gloria and three of their four children will do the best they can at Christmas. Probably, just sitting around home. Perhaps, visiting relatives or friends.

There is so much to think about and time is running out. The eviction notice says they must be out soon.

This has happened before and with so many people coming to Austin, it will be hard to find another place.

The Salvation Army did give the mother groceries and thankfully they have presents for the kids and a food basket.

That will help, but only awhile. If only Jose had a job.

This "Peace on earth, goodwill toward men" stuff sounds good, but there's nothing peaceful in this household.

Welcome to the "other Austin." The homes and apartments where there is no Christmas tree with presents underneath, where there are no stockings hung, where the excitement of Christmas Eve and the joy of Christmas Day morning will go unnoticed.

Where there will be no presents to return.

Where Christmas tempts memories of better times in the past, but loses its luster in the unsettling reality of the present.

Don't even mention the true meaning of Christmas, when your husband is an ex-con, your oldest son is a walking advertisement for a tattoo parlor and your other children eat cereal three times a day and your baby is growing up in Texas, while the rest of the family lives in Austin.

Living on hard times

Gloria, 32, and Jose, 36, (not their real names) are real. So are their children and so is their story.

"We see people like this all the time," said Pat Wright, social services supervisor for the Salvation Army Austin Corps. "Their story is more or less typical of the people we try to help. We have been helping this family for several years. It's been a struggle, when her husband went to prison and now even though he will be home this Christmas, they are facing more trouble with her unemployment and the eviction notice."

The couple moved to Minnesota in 1987 from Texas. Like so many others, they came here looking for work.

Gloria worked for the Minnesota Migrant Council and then the Minnesota Migrant Health Network and after the family moved to Austin, SEMCAC's Head Start Program.

Then came shorter stints at Quality Pork Processors, Inc. and Hormel Foods Corporation. Most recently, she worked at Hayfield Door and Window until Nov. 28. Problems with the family's only car caused her to be late to her job and to miss work frequently.

Her husband, Jose, has battled drugs and alcohol and never been employed.

The family lives in a large, two-story home along W. Oakland Avenue. Rent is $600 plus utilities.

Gloria has seen this happen before. Sociologists call it "slipping through the cracks" in an economic slump.

She calls it "life."

"It's been like this before," she said. "When my husband would get in trouble with the police and he would go to court, he would get sent to prison.

"Then, when he got out, he would come back home and for awhile things would fall into place for us," she said. "Then, it would happen all over again and he would go back to prison. That's life.

"You can't help but feel bitter at times. At the holidays, the kids ask for everything and when they don't get what they want, they are bitter and they become resentful of the other kids who have new clothes. I'm trying. I'm really trying the best I can, but it's not happening."

With a husband either absent from home or unable to contribute meaningfully when he is there, the pressures build on Gloria to provide for everyone.

When there is no margin for error, there is a strong temptation to give up.

"There was a time in my life, when I wanted to do that. I wanted to give up. Nothing was going right. Nothing seemed to change for the better. It was all bad. If it weren't for God … " she said, not finishing the sentence.

Because his father, Jose, was absent so often and for so long from home, the eldest son, a teenager, assumed the role of the "man around the house."

The son became physically abusive, according to his mother.

Because he was the oldest sibling and therefore a role model, his behavior was copied by his younger brother and sister.

With so much on her mind, so many things swirling around her, Gloria has to take her time to recall her "best Christmas ever."

Finally, she said, "I think it was when I was 11 years old and living with my mom."

While she tells the story, one can see what once must have been someone full of life, when she was younger and there wasn't so much on her mind. Now, the eyes tell a different story.

After telling the story, she sighs. "All the other Christmases have been pretty bad. Jose missed two of them, when he was in prison.

"I don't like it. I don't like Christmas."

With a dysfunctional family in Austin and her own relatives far away in Texas, who does Gloria turn to for support?

"I don't think I could have done it without The Salvation Army," she said. "They have helped me with just about everything in my life.

"They have provided groceries, gas vouchers to get to work, clothing. You name it."

She has not seen her youngest son in two years.

"What would be my ideal Christmas?" she repeated the question. "I've never thought about that. I think it would be a Christmas with my family, my husband and all my kids. We would all be together and we would be happy. It's been 13 years since anything like that happened."

Growing to the fantasy, she continued, "My kids would have all the clothes and shoes they need. I would have a job. Jose would be working. We would have a new life. Nothing like this one."

Does the homemaker and mother have any advice for others who are struggling?

"Just to hang in there," she said. "It can't get any worse. It can only get better, but it will take time and you will have to comfort your kids along the way."

On Monday, things once again threatened to go from bad to worse in the family. Jose turned himself in and the Minnesota Department of Corrections is reviewing his status for a possible return to prison for a probation violation.

Editor's Note: The true identities of Jose and Gloria are known and were verified. Jose was present for the interview with Gloria, but did not comment. For information on how to help the needy, call the Salvation Army Austin Corps at 437-4566.

Lee Bonorden can be contacted at 434-2232 or by e-mail at lee.bonorden@austindailyherald.com