A man opens a black felt box, revealing a sparkling diamond necklace.

His wife/girlfriend's eyes widen like it's the most amazing thing she's ever seen.

She looks adoringly at him and with one glimmer of 16-carat brilliance, the man has won the affection of the woman.

A singing narrator then proclaims "Every kiss begins with K."

Or did she mean Kay, as in Kay Jewelers?

Clever.

The commercial is saying, "Hey guys, buy her jewelry and she's yours!"

The ads are insulting to women by assuming only jewelry can win their hearts.

But they also insult men.

It assumes men have nothing better to offer women than shiny earrings and bracelets.

And without them, forget it. They don't have a chance.

Kay Jewelers is not alone in this ad technique. Almost every jeweler has ads out now hawking diamonds, rubies and tanzanite.

A newspaper ad for Wixon Jewelers states, "She wants the Carat. The whole Carat, and nothing but the Carat. So help me Santa."

Of course these kinds of ads have been around for as long as jewelers have printed advertisements.

This sort of pressure on men is nothing new. It plays into the part of our culture that tells men they must provide for their families and treat their wives well.

A gold necklace can certainly do all that.

But these holiday jewelry ads are only a part of the pressure some men seem to be feeling.

Advertising, along with television shows and movies are pressuring men to fit a certain physical standard, just as these media have been doing to women for years.

Men are bombarded with images of buff, toned actors and models and are feeling pressured to emulate their sculpted arms and large chests.

Some men spend lots of time at the gym and lots of money on supplements.

Others consider implants.

Yep. Pectoral implants.

A visit to plastic surgeon and men can come away with a larger chest due to palm-sized silicone implants.

An article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press said some men feel they are too fat or underdeveloped muscularly.

But chest implants are not the only alterations men are making. The Pioneer Press wrote the American Society of Plastic Surgeons found that about 1 million men decided to have plastic surgery last year, which represents 15 percent of those who get plastic surgery.

What else are men opting for?

How about larger calves?

You bet. For a mere $7,000 or so men can get silicone in their calves to make them look bigger.

Ridiculous? Absolutely.

But some predict the plastic surgery demands in the male population to increase and this is cause for concern.

Some might say these insecurities are only fair. Women have had been pressured to conform (and still are) to certain physical standards. Why shouldn't men get a taste of what that's like?

Because it is creating a culture of fakes. A culture that decides it must pursue a physical ideal that is based a few "attractive" people.

Most women do not really care how large a guy's pecs are and they certainly don't notice calves.

And I wouldn't think a man's friends will think he's any cooler for having a big chest.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, but going to such extremes as plastic surgery is going too far.

The pressure on men to look like a movie star and spend money on their wives like one creates an unrealistic ideal that most man cannot (and do not need to) live up to.

Men have more to offer than muscles and jewelry.

I read a quote recently that said something to the effect that people become better or worse looking the more you get to know them.

No matter how much a guy tries to resemble Vin Diesel, if he isn't a decent person, no amount of silicone pecs can make up for it.

Cari Quam can be reached at 434-2235 or by e-mail at :mailto:cari.quam@austindailyherald.com